Q: I’m confused about what to do and need help. I’ve been married for two years and I love my husband, but he is in the military and I have big dreams.
The fact that he is military means where he goes, I go. There’s no moving to where I want. My dream is to go to Le Cordon Bleu in Paris, but it’s a two-year program. If I follow my dream and career, it would mean two years completely apart because, with culinary school, there are no summer breaks.
My husband says I can follow that dream, but I know it would place a HUGE strain on our marriage. Please help me. I don’t know what to do. — Dreaming in Illinois
A: If your husband were deployed to a war zone for two years, there would be a long separation. While it might strain the marriage, the separation would not necessarily destroy it.
A degree from Le Cordon Bleu will enhance your career path in the future, which would benefit both of you. There’s no reward without some risk, but if you do not pursue your dream, you may resent your husband in the future. He says you have his blessing to follow your dream, so do it!
Q: I am a gifted, introverted, Christian 13-year-old female with a strong sense of right and wrong. I disagree with some things my parents condemn as sinful.
I want to support gay rights and animal rights. My mother, in particular, takes the Bible literally, while I am more open. I want to take action to support these causes I know are right, but I’m afraid she will be angry.
I love my mother so much, Abby, and this makes me so sad. Please help me. — Ms. Kitty in Tennessee
A: Please don’t be sad. Instead, be patient. There is no way to change the thinking of someone who takes the Bible — or any holy book, for that matter — literally. Do what you can now, but you may have to wait until you are older and on your own to become fully active in the causes you feel are important.
Q: I have developed a medical condition that requires me to wear adult diapers. That’s hard enough for me, but why, when you get to the checkout, do they ask, “Do you want a bag for this?” Of course I do! I really don’t want to flaunt the fact I wear a diaper all through the parking lot. I am neither young nor ancient, somewhere in between, and I never thought I’d ever use this product before age 80. — Hard for Me
A: Whether a customer would like a bag for his or her purchases is a question that baggers ask hundreds of times a day, to the point that it becomes automatic. The way to deal with this potentially embarrassing encounter would be to provide your own carryout bags when buying adult diapers. Many shoppers use them as a way to protect the environment. Alternatively, consider ordering the diapers online.
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.