Advice Columns

Dear Abby: Reader shares formula for a happy marriage

Q: I am a 34-year-old male who reads your column regularly. I usually see people asking for advice about their concerns, so I figured I would send you something different.

My wife and I have been married three months now, after living together for a year. Prior to that, we dated exclusively for three years. Abby, she’s my world. We took it slow, had fun and discovered each other and ourselves. We discussed our todays and tomorrows, our hopes and dreams, our fears and misgivings, and put together a solid foundation on which to build our future. We live in the present, look forward to tomorrow and consider yesterday a gift with fond memories and lots of laughter.

We have earned each other. We have worked hard for each other. Yes, we have had our share of trying times and difficult days, but we took our time and worked out our issues as a team and as equals, with respect, courtesy and love. We didn’t rush anything and still don’t to this day. We are totally loving being together! — Louisville Lover

A: I wish you and your wife many, many more happy years together. Thank you for an upper of a letter. I can’t think of a more appropriate message to print on Valentine’s Day.

Q: I belong to a gym that is wonderful. It has great facilities and extensive services included in the fee that encourage lots of family activities. Among the facilities are family changing rooms, which are rarely used.

Because of this, I am reduced to a Monday-to-Friday schedule because on weekends many fathers bring their little girls into the male changing room (infants to 4 years of age). Today I gave it a shot and went to the gym only to encounter a dad and daughter in the male changing room, buck naked. Is this the new normal, Abby? — Not a Dad in Baltimore

A: Whether it’s the new normal is beside the point. If you prefer not to encounter a child of the opposite sex in the men’s changing room, you should discuss this with the manager of the gym or change at home.

Q: I’m puzzled. When was Valentine’s Day designated as a day for FEMALES only? I have always been under the impression that Feb. 14 is a day of love! I sent my late husband flowers at work one year, and when the delivery man arrived at his office, the women all rushed over to the door only to find out they were for him. My husband told me that from the look on their faces they were astonished.

Perhaps you should remind women to spoil their men on Valentine’s Day and not just expect something from them. The guys need love, too. — Loving Wife in Georgia

A: I agree that Valentine’s Day should be celebrated on an equal basis. Couples who last are those who make an effort to show each other they love each other EVERY day.

Readers, I’d like to take this opportunity to wish you all a happy Valentine’s Day. I deeply appreciate the relationship I have with all of you. — Love, Abby

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