Q: I have always struggled with a lack of self-esteem and confidence. I would like to get breast implants. It’s not to seek attention or anything; it’s merely to feel better about myself. Clothes don’t fit me properly, and I am embarrassed.
My boyfriend is completely against it. He says he doesn’t want to be with a fake person, even though I have tried in vain to tell him I’ll be the same person on the inside. He has also threatened that we will have relationship problems if I have the surgery done.
This procedure will, in my opinion, help me in many ways. On the other hand, I don’t want to lose my boyfriend! Please help. — Doesn’t Want to Lose Him
A: Which is more important to you: to do something that will make you feel more confident about your appearance or hang on to this boyfriend? He may be worried that you will attract too much attention if you change your appearance or have a hang-up about “relations” with a woman who has implants.
If he were your husband, I might answer differently, but from where I sit, you have to do what’s best for you. A boyfriend who would prevent you from boosting your self-confidence strikes me as selfish and not much of a “friend” at all.
Q: I’m saddened by the mistresses of today, also known as “side chicks.” These women have no morality or conscience. Yet their status seems to be glorified all over social media.
What advice would you give to my friends who are contemplating joining in this madness as a “hustle” and a way to get child support from married men? — Disgusted in California
A: You are describing entrapment and extortion. A woman who would do this is lacking ethics, morals and self-respect. That kind of individual isn’t likely to listen to advice from me. I do have some, however, for YOU. End those “friendships” because, on an important level, you have nothing in common with these shameless users. I pity the children, who are nothing more than meal tickets to their mothers.
Q: I am vegan, which makes dining out an adventure. In restaurants, veggies and pasta or a veggie wrap are pretty much a go-to. At family functions (weddings, showers), I bring my own non-dairy milk and butter and try not to call attention to myself. When someone (inevitably) notices, the questions begin, which I don’t mind.
What I DO mind, however, is the hostility I encounter. “What makes you think you’re better than the rest of us?” is the most common comment. I don’t think I am, and I certainly have never implied it.
I need a response that won’t fuel the fire and will hopefully allow me to eat in peace. Thoughts? — Vegan Girl in Massachusetts
A: Try this: “I’m sorry you got that impression, because it’s not the way I feel. It’s simply the way I choose to eat.”
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.