DEAR ABBY: A few months ago I turned 50, and my co-workers held a small celebration. When we celebrate birthdays, we all have agreed to regift an item (usually a gag gift).
One of my presents was a black leather miniskirt and matching vest. I never planned on wearing it, but my husband, “Tom,” and I were invited to an ’80s-themed Halloween party, and I didn’t want to spend a lot of money on a costume, so we decided to go as a rock star and his groupie.
I left work early to get ready for the party. When Tom arrived home, he couldn’t keep his eyes or hands off me. We never made it to the party and had the best sex we’d had in years. Before that night our love life had been practically nonexistent.
Abby, please remind readers to always keep intimacy in their relationships. Apparently, Tom and I just needed to be creative and spice things up a little. — Happier in Pennsylvania
DEAR HAPPIER: That’s a great suggestion. Now I know why your jack-o’-lantern was smiling.
Alerting friends to cheating spouses
DEAR ABBY: I was married for six years and had three children with my husband. He always said he hated people who cheat on their spouses, but then he had an affair with a married co-worker, a woman who had three kids. We had a huge argument about it. I called her names, and he beat me up. I called the police, he was arrested and jailed, and I filed for divorce.
It has been six years, and I have moved on, but I’m still angry over their cheating. They got married and invited mutual friends who knew of their affair. All of them attended the wedding. When I questioned a few of them about why they didn’t tell me he was cheating on me, they said it was “none of their business.” (Oddly enough, those people thought nothing of socializing with the cheaters.)
I’d like to know how many of your readers would tell people their spouses were cheating. I know I would, because affairs aren’t innocent fun.
Just to add to the end of my story, my ex and his trophy wife are now divorcing after three years of marriage. The reason? He caught her cheating. — The Ex-Mrs. in Illinois
DEAR EX-MRS.: These “friends” may not have told you because they either didn’t want to get involved or they had already chosen whose side they planned to be on.
I suspect many readers will want to chime in on your question. And I also suspect that, unlike years ago when folks opted to remain silent, the majority will say they feel the spouses have a right to know because they would want to be told.
Misinterpreting a man’s hug of a woman
DEAR ABBY: Please provide advice on hugging a woman without it seeming like I am more interested in experiencing a free feel of her breasts than in just hugging her. — Healthy American Male
DEAR H.A.M.: If you are hugging women you don’t have much of a relationship with, your intention could be misconstrued. If you think your attempt to be warm and friendly might be regarded as making a pass, then you shouldn’t do it, or you may be considered less a “healthy American male” than a creepy lecher.
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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