Q: My wife and I have been married 16 years. We have three boys, ages 12, 6 and 2. My 6-year-old doesn’t sleep in his bed. He sleeps on the couch. My wife sleeps in a recliner in the den. The 2-year-old usually sleeps with her. Sometimes he sleeps in a crib in our room. I sleep by myself in a king-size bed.
There is no possibility for romance. The only time there can be is when my wife comes to bed. If this happens, I know something is going to take place, but I have no chance to initiate. Our sex life is totally up to her. Once a month or so is fine with her, but not for me.
I have told her how I feel about our “sleeping arrangements” but nothing has changed. I know I snore, but she has not complained about it keeping her awake or used it as an excuse.
Our 6-year-old will not sleep in his bed as long as his mother sleeps in the recliner. The longer this goes on, the harder it will be to get him in his bed. Do you have any advice on what I should do or say about this situation? — Sleeping Solo in the South
A: Obviously this arrangement isn’t working for you. Unless you want to live the rest of your life this way, you are complaining to the wrong woman.
Your wife is doing the children no favors by allowing these unorthodox sleeping arrangements. It’s time to lay your cards on the table with her. Tell her you need some straight answers about why she’s unwilling to share your bed. But if her answers are not forthcoming, marriage counseling may be necessary to improve your level of communication.
Q: I recently saw a link on Facebook to a fundraising site for the son of a childhood friend. (He is under 18.) When I clicked on it, I discovered he is in rehab at a private-care facility that requires he stay for months. It is very expensive. I contributed as generously as I could, considering my limited finances, and received a thank-you for my support. I was happy to help.
Now, less than three weeks later, I’m seeing pictures of my friend on vacation. I don’t plan to say anything to this person, but I have learned a valuable lesson. From now on, I will donate my hard-earned money only to organizations I believe in and have researched.
Is this a new trend, people asking others to fund their family problems so they can go on with life as usual? I recently saw a GoFundMe page for a funeral, and I know the family is well-off. I think this is very tacky. Or am I behind the times? Your thoughts? — No Vacation for Me
A: More than a few individuals are using crowdfunding to pay for various things. It has helped some people enormously in their time of need. But for someone who is not in need to do this, I agree is tacky. However, regardless of what you and I may think, it’s happening. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, I guess.
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.