Q: My husband enjoys sitting around (among other activities) naked. We live in a subdivision with 700 homes. I have asked him repeatedly to stop, join a nudist group or go home to his mother, whatever! He says he’s sorry, blah blah blah. But it doesn’t stop happening.
The deputies have already visited to tell him to stop playing his ukulele while driving, and I’m afraid he’ll get caught without a stitch on one day and all hell will break loose. I realize how ludicrous this letter may sound, but I’m being truthful. Am I crazy to expect him to stay clothed in semi-public? — Teresa in the South
A: I’m sorry you didn’t define “semi-public.” It’s one thing for a person to “let it all hang out” in the privacy of his (or her) home or fenced backyard. It’s quite another for that individual to fully expose himself in public view. If this is what has been happening, it appears you have married an exhibitionist who could be arrested for indecent exposure if a neighbor chooses to complain. If this is what’s happening, you’re not crazy; you are a concerned wife.
Q: My daughter’s elementary school has many fundraisers each year where the children are asked to sell things like takeout pizza coupons and cheap wrapping paper to raise money for schoolwide events. I’m happy to support the school but do not want her to participate in the selling.
She’s too little to go door-to-door or make phone calls on her own, so I end up doing it for her. I am very uncomfortable when individuals ask me to buy things. I don’t want to put that kind of pressure on other people. Also, some of the items for sale are unhealthy or not things we’d use, so it seems wrong to ask others to buy them.
Instead of selling, where they get only a small portion of the funds, I’d rather donate directly to the school. However, I’m not sure how to do that without making our family stand out in this very small community.
When a new fundraiser is announced, should I ask the teacher or PTA member how much our share is and then write a check? I’m afraid I’d be inviting gossip about being too stuck up or wealthy to participate (we are neither). And how do I explain to my 7-year-old why I don’t think she should be selling things, without seeming critical of her friends who are? — Just Want to Donate in Iowa
A: This is a concern you should discuss with the person who is in charge of the fundraiser. If you prefer to donate the money you would be expected to raise, rather than have your child solicit door-to-door, your wishes should be respected because the result will be the same for her school. Frankly, I think you have a point.
Q: My mother and I disagree about what to do if a child is invited to a birthday party but is unable to attend. Mom says you should still buy a present for the honoree. I think that’s a nice thing to do but not necessary. What do you think? — Unsure in California
A: I agree with you. Buying a gift for the birthday child would be a very thoughtful gesture, but it is not required.
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.