Q: I am a widow in my early 50s. While I was dating a prominent OB-GYN, I found out that he’s involved in criminal activity: operating a so-called “pill mill.” On our last date he asked me to join an escort service he was starting.
I notified the medical board of the state he’s practicing in and various government agencies. It amazes me that he is still practicing. He’s doing abortions, which means he has access to vulnerable young women. Knowing this, I have lost trust in our medical establishment. Nothing seems to affect this man’s success and practice.
I have given up and am moving far away. What should I do? Have I done everything possible? This is obviously a very difficult situation for me. I am deeply concerned about his patients. I’m getting therapy now for my trust issues because of this experience. Is there anything else I should be doing? — Ms. X, Somewhere in the USA
A: Having notified the proper authorities about this man’s activities, you have done everything you can. The only thing left is for you to concentrate on healing yourself, and your therapist can help you with that. I wish you luck in your recovery.
Q: I wrote to you about my 97-year-old mother who was in failing health. My question was how to notify her out-of-state elderly friends with news of her passing when the time came. My idea was to use her address book/Christmas card list for addresses and then print a copy of her obituary with a short message thanking those friends for their letters, cards and support during her life. You sent me back a note that positively reinforced my idea.
My mother passed away earlier this year. I mailed the letters and received a response from almost every single person. Each one thanked me for letting them know the sad news. With your encouragement, I was able to handle this matter with respect and dignity. Thank you so much. — Gayle in Arizona
A: You’re welcome. I occasionally hear from readers asking if people I have advised actually follow my advice. I’m pleased my encouragement worked well for you. Thank you for letting us know.
Q: My boyfriend and I have been dating for five years and have three wonderful children between us. Now, after a year of living together, we have begun to talk about marriage.
We are happy, but we are introverted people and our main focus at this time is on raising our kids. This has left us with few friendships and only a couple of close family members. If we do decide to get married, I’m worried about how many people we would be able to invite or if there would even be enough people to be in the ceremony itself. Do you have any suggestions for this kind of situation? — Shy Bride in Kansas
A: Yes, I do. A wedding doesn’t have to be big and fancy to be beautiful and meaningful. That’s why I suggest you and your boyfriend be married quietly in a ceremony officiated by a justice of the peace or clergyperson of your choice. Ask your relatives and close friends to accompany you while you take your vows and have a small celebration afterward commensurate with your budget.
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.