DEAR ABBY: My situation is upsetting, and I don’t know what to do anymore. My girlfriend, “Dana,” is pregnant. My ex-wife showed up at our door with terminal cancer and nowhere to go. When I told her she could stay with us, Dana moved out.
There is no one that my ex can rely on except me. I am torn. I love Dana and don’t want to lose her, but I can’t turn my back on someone who has no one in her life who cares. I wish Dana could understand what I’m going through. Please help. — In Turmoil in Wisconsin
DEAR IN TURMOIL: Are you absolutely certain about your ex-wife’s prognosis? Have you verified it? Why is she your ex-wife? Why are you the only one in her life who cares? Has she burned all her other bridges?
Without more information, your question is a tough one to answer. But if you love Dana, then the wrong woman is living with you. While you don’t have to turn your back on your ex if she truly is terminal, you should absolutely find her other living arrangements.
It’s OK to look
DEAR ABBY: I am five years older than my fiance. He has never been married and has a daughter. We have been together for a few years, and something has happened to make me wonder about him.
I thought it was funny that he bought Cosmopolitan magazine every month and talked about his flat belly. But I recently found my Victoria’s Secret catalog hidden in his toolbox. I have also seen him look at other, much younger women. Am I making something out of nothing? — Suspicious in Maine
DEAR SUSPICIOUS: Yes. All men “look.” It goes along with being male. As to his having stashed your lingerie catalog in his toolbox, that’s rather chaste considering the number of men who buy Playboy, Hustler and watch online videos.
I don’t know what conclusions you’re jumping to, but you’ll be better off clearing the air with your boyfriend rather than stewing about it. If you do it good-naturedly, it shouldn’t make him defensive, and you’ll get the answers you’re looking for.
Conflicted about her mom
DEAR ABBY: I’m 16 and lead a pretty good life. I attend a fantastic school, do well, have lots of friends and am overall happy. I have siblings and a mom who love me. The thing is, I don’t love her. It’s not because of “teenage angst”; I just don’t like her as a person. I’m polite to her and she doesn’t know how I feel. How should I handle this? — Concerned Daughter in San Francisco
DEAR CONCERNED DAUGHTER: I think you should “handle it” by keeping your trap shut. Not every mother likes/loves her daughter all the time either, but the feeling usually passes. Consider this: Because you have so many positive things going on in your life, your mother may have had something to do with it, so try to be a little less judgmental.
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.