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Evidently, the potential feelings of the host have not made an impression on your daughter. You may have to wait years for that — until her wedding guests announce that they will be accompanied by their own guests.
Meanwhile, Miss Manners suggests that you point out that she is putting her friend in an uncomfortable position. Will the friend not be embarrassed to attend a party to which she was not willingly invited, and where, presumably, she does not know the host or many of the guests? Perhaps the hosts will be welcoming, but what if their manners are not up to that?
If your daughter is concerned about including her oldest and closest friend in the circle of her new friends, then she should throw a party herself and invite everyone. Perhaps, then, they will get to know one another, and her neighborhood friend will be legitimately invited to those parties.Sharing luncheon costs
There is another difference that would, as it were, make all the difference:
Is this a group in that you are all just friends, and from time to time one of you invites the others for lunch? Or is it an organized group on a schedule, with gatherings held at each of your houses in turn?
While Miss Manners agrees that it is unconscionable for an individual hostess to ask her guests for money, it is also an imposition for her to order food from them.
But in a cooperative group, the person in whose house it meets is not really a hostess in that sense. How responsibility is shared is then up to the group to decide.© Universal Uclick 4/9