DEAR ABBY: I’m 15. Yesterday, they told our class that one of my friend’s parents had died suddenly. Every single person in our grade cried, except for me. I felt bad about not crying for my friend’s loss, but I just didn’t. Another friend told me that last night people were texting, and it had been mentioned several times that I wasn’t crying and that it looked like I didn’t care, even though I do. I feel bad about not crying, but I don’t want to lie and say that I did. Please help me. — Dry-Eyed in Colorado
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If you feel that any explanation is called for, simply say that when you heard the news you were so stunned that you couldn’t cry. Your reaction is very common. When bad news is conveyed, some people are just struck numb. Believe me, not everyone who can cry on command is necessarily grieving.Yeah, it’s over DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, “Chico,” and I have been going together for six years. We have discussed marriage, but for the past few months he has become distant and not as loving as he once was. Chico is the dependent type who often needs to be reminded by his parents or me about things he needs to do. When I asked Chico what was going on, he said he is confused and he thinks he relies too much on his parents and me for direction.
Frankly, I think Chico is trying to break it to you gently that it’s over. Wish him well and let him go.
You probably meant well, but the problem with giving someone “directions” is, it prevents that person’s own compass from guiding him where he needs to go. Look at it this way: This may be a period of growth for Chico and for you as well.
Yes, I think so. Your gentleman friend has an unhealthy way of dealing with conflict. Unless your idea of a happy marriage is one in which you are always the peacemaker, I doubt it would last.© Universal Uclick 4/5