DEAR MISS MANNERS: On more than one occasion, I have heard a woman say, “We’re pregnant!” when referring to the fact that the couple is expecting a baby. My in-laws will even say, “Did you hear that John and Jane are pregnant?” I think that phrasing it in such a way is ridiculous, and I often find myself responding in a manner such as, “Wow, he’s pregnant, too?”
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While it is plainly unfair that mothers should have to do all of the childbearing, Miss Manners, like you, has noticed that such is the reality.
Presumably the plural is used to make the point that this unevenness does not extend to child-rearing, as it might if the child were merely some little project of the mother’s. But your response should be merely to offer congratulations.Disrespectful DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our small township of about 5,000 people has a township cemetery. This year, for the first time, township officials are planning a “scavenger hunt” in the cemetery for both adults and kids during a festival-type event the town is having.
This is one more bit of evidence that, as Miss Manners has always suspected, everyone nowadays wants to be in show business.
It seems far more likely that the planners were thinking, “What a wonderful set the cemetery would make for our festival,” rather than, “Let’s all have a romp on Grandma’s grave.”
You might explain to the would-be producers that while you see the charm of their proposal, they need to avoid the bad feeling that would result were a living relative of one of the deceased to complain that the scavenger hunt would be a desecration. Suggest they send a letter to all possible survivors, explaining why the contemplated festivities would not constitute disrespect. Your officials may find it easier to change the venue.
Your friends are very generous to people who are woefully underpaid. And as employers knowingly underpay them, expecting the customers to make up the difference, everyone in the industry has an interest in raising the rates.
Miss Manners would have thought that using percentages to calculate tips would ensure increases with the cost of living. However, as you know, the usual rate has crept up to 20 percent, with something more or less depending on the type of establishment.
She has no wish to discourage additional largesse. But that is dictated by the heart and the wallet, not by etiquette.© Universal Uclick 2/26