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I think it is time you toned down the high drama. What’s done is done. If you do not appreciate the person your daughter is BENEATH her skin, you will lose her. And THAT would be a tragedy!Family suffering DEAR ABBY: I have a 20-plus-year high school friend who is fighting ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease). I have developed a close relationship with him and his parents. His mom has shared some of his comments with me, such as “I want to die” or “I want to go home to God.” I think listening and being a supportive friend is what I can do for him, but I’m at a loss as to what to say to his mother. I don’t know what advice to give her so she can be supportive in her conversations with her dying son. — Deep Sorrow in Ohio
I agree that listening and being supportive is what you can do best for your friend. When the son raises the subject again with his mother, she should tell him that she loves him and will see that his wishes are carried out, even though losing him will be losing a part of herself.
When you see the mother again, ask if he has an advance directive for medical decisions in place. In it, a person can specify that only palliative care is preferred.
A group that offers guidance in drafting these important documents — and one to which I contribute — is Compassion and Choices. The toll-free number is 800-247-7421. If your friend does not have an advance directive, it’s important that he make one now.Excessive mower
If you’re on speaking terms with this neighbor, you should ask him if he would please manicure his lawn at a different time because the noise is disruptive. If he is unwilling to cooperate, check with the city to find out if there are any noise ordinances in place. If there are, you can report the noise as a nuisance.© Universal Uclick 8/30