DEAR ABBY: My family has had our dog “Pouncer” for 10 years. He was originally bought to be a “family” dog, but I am the one who feeds and takes care of him. Because of that he sleeps with me and licks and obeys only me. When I say Pouncer is my dog, the rest of my family chews me out and insists he is the family’s dog, not mine. Don’t you think I have the right to call him my dog? — Willie in West Virginia
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I think this is less a question about ownership than it is about tact. Because you are the one who feeds and takes care of Pouncer, and he sleeps with you and obeys only you — in that sense, he IS your dog.
But unless you are the only one paying for his food and veterinary bills and the roof over his head, Pouncer is also the family’s dog. Remember that and you’ll get chewed out less often.‘Friend’ makes pass at wife DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married more than 20 years. Her best friend from childhood, “Jill,” and her husband, “Jack,” are two of our closest friends.
The friendship has already been damaged thanks to the husband’s inappropriate behavior. What you and your wife must now decide is whether he has caused a permanent estrangement.
If you both agree you can look beyond his boorish lapse in light of the length of the long friendship, then by all means call Jack and tell him how you feel about what he did. And when you do, make it plain that if it happens again, you and your wife will discuss it with Jill TOGETHER.Some not welcome at funeral DEAR ABBY: My sisters and brothers and I don’t speak and haven’t in five years. When I pass, I have a list of people who will be welcome at my services. If someone’s name is not on the list, they will be asked to leave. I want my children and some of my grandchildren there, but no one else. Do you think I am wrong? — Troubled in Texas DEAR TROUBLED:
No, I don’t. Your wishes are your wishes. However, it is sad when families feud and, at the end, things that should be said are left unspoken.
One would hope that anyone who comes to your funeral would be there to support your children and grandchildren, or to pay last respects. I think it would be rude to ask someone who came to leave. A better way to handle it would to specify in the funeral announcement that services will be for “your children only” and for further information people should contact a person you designate to carry out your wishes.© Universal Uclick 7/20