DEAR ABBY: I am a 30-year-old transgender woman who has just started her journey. Feeling more comfortable in my skin, I have been going to some local hangouts with friends from work and meeting straight men. My question is, when is it appropriate to disclose that I am a preoperative trans woman? I have tried online dating on trans-friendly websites, as well as visited the local transgender bar, but those men tend only to be looking for sex, and I am looking for more than that. I would love your advice on the matter. — Starting My Journey DEAR STARTING:
For your safety, it is important that you disclose your status early, before there is any sex involved. If you don’t, the straight man could react violently and possibly put you in danger.
At this point, it would be a good idea to contact PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) because it can put you in touch with resources to help you through your journey. The largest increase in new individuals reaching out to PFLAG is now among people with “trans” issues — and this includes both trans individuals and their family members.
It is critically important to seek out a culturally competent therapist to help you with specific issues. To find referrals and a local chapter, visit pflag.org.STD talk DEAR ABBY:
One would think that a man who loves his wife would want to be absolutely POSITIVE that he wouldn’t give her a sexually transmitted infection. However, because your husband has given you one before, it is perfectly logical that you tell him it is the reason you want him to be tested before resuming your marital relationship.Checks not needed
When a check isn’t cashed, it is obvious to the check writer, and it can cause problems in balancing the person’s checkbook. I think your solution to tell them you no longer need the checks is a good one.© Universal Uclick 7/12