Advice Columns

Dear Abby: Wedding invitation doesn’t include sister’s significant other

DEAR ABBY: My only sister, “Carolyn,” is getting married in two months. I’m ecstatic for her. She and her girlfriend turned 50 this year, and this is the happiest I have ever seen her. They are perfect together. Carolyn asked me to be her maid of honor and I gladly accepted. I am also decorating for her small wedding and reception.

When I received my wedding invitation last week, I was shocked and saddened. It was addressed to me and my kids only. My significant other, “Greg” (the kids’ father), and I were married for 22 years and divorced three years ago. We have had some tough times but did reconcile. Even though we are divorced, we stayed together and never split households.

I have no idea how to tell Greg. I asked Carolyn if excluding Greg had been an oversight, and she said she would just prefer that he not be there. I can respect that, and I don’t want to cause any drama or take anything away from her day.

Does this seem appropriate? My feelings are hurt, and I could have used Greg’s help with things. How do I tell him he’s not invited? — In a Wedding Quandary

DEAR QUANDARY: Tell Greg the same way you told me. And after you do, don’t be surprised that the relationship Greg has with Carolyn and her wife will be more distant than it has been.

It’s possible that when you and Greg divorced, she developed a dislike for him that didn’t abate after you reconciled, and it’s sad that she chose this occasion to display it. Personally, I think her choice is one she’ll regret in the future, but neither you nor I can change it.

Juggling work, fun, fitness is tough

DEAR ABBY: I’m a high school student, but it’s not easy for me. Studying is hard at home because I just want to goof off after a long day at school. My grades are OK, but I’m worried that if this continues they will slip.

Then there’s my eating habits and fitness. My school lunch period starts late in the day, so it’s hard to stay satisfied from breakfast. When I get home, I’m still hungry and eat whatever’s around, not usually healthy. And sitting all day at school doesn’t help my fitness. Recently, I decided to have only a cup of water or soda until dinner, but I’m not sure that’s healthy. Exercising at home doesn’t happen because I’m either goofing off or doing homework.

Finally, there’s my sleep habits. I go to bed at 8 or 9, but I have to wake up at 5 the next morning. How can I have good grades, be fit and be rested while having fun, too? — Multi-Tasker in New Hampshire

DEAR MULTI-TASKER: If you arrive home with low energy, put on some walking shoes and go for a walk/jog or do some other form of exercise. When you return home, your mind will be alert. Then, have a piece of fruit with some cheese or a boiled egg. This should hold you until dinner. Water is healthy, and you should be able to drink it in unlimited amounts.

After you have had your snack, get your homework out of the way. If you do, there should be an hour or so in the evening for you to “goof off” before bedtime without feeling guilty.

Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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