DEAR ABBY: My husband is a very aggressive driver. He tailgates, cuts people off, narrates “play by play” during driving and stresses me out. He was involved in two accidents that I am convinced were his fault, although one was blamed on the other driver. Fortunately, nobody was hurt.
Because of this I prefer to drive. The other day, he actually reached across and honked my horn while I was driving because somebody delayed a few seconds at the stoplight! We weren’t in a hurry, and there was no need to honk. Our children were in the car. When I complained, he told me to “just get over it.” He gets so grouchy if I say anything about his driving.
We live in a relatively small town, and our vehicles are very identifiable. All of the crazy road rage incidents I hear about certainly don’t help. Any suggestions? I’m ready to resort to public transportation. — Prefers to Drive
DEAR PREFERS: For the safety of your family, it’s time to find out what’s driving your husband’s anger and dangerous behavior. His driving record speaks for itself, and he should not assume any function of driving when you are at the wheel, including honking the horn “for” you.
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You are entirely correct that what he did could have sparked a road rage incident. All that would need to happen would be for you to encounter someone who is as angry as your husband for a tragedy to happen.
DEAR ABBY: I have been married for seven years, and my husband and I have had our ups and downs. He never thought he would have kids until he met me, and now we have two. After our second child, we agreed that we were done having children. I was OK with it because it seemed after each child our relationship became strained.
Recently we reached the point of deciding whether we would either separate or work harder on our marriage. We decided to stick it out. The problem is, while we were in the process of getting back together, I became pregnant again. I’m afraid to tell him because I know how stressed he gets. I’m afraid it will be too much for him, and he will cut himself off emotionally from me and the kids.
This wasn’t planned. We were using protection, but getting an abortion is something I could never do. I know this child will make things more difficult, but this child is a part of me and the man I love. How do I tell my husband I am pregnant in a way that may make the news easier to take? — At a Loss for Words
DEAR AT A LOSS: You should have told your husband about this the day you thought you “might” be pregnant. You can announce the news by telling him that this baby is a symbol of your love and reconciliation, but whether he will accept this explanation is questionable. You already know the news will not be warmly received, so get it over with before your pregnancy starts to show.
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.