Q: I need your help in dealing with an old “frenemy.” “Jenny” and I were friends in high school, but she constantly berated me and accused me of taking advantage of her. She would make herself feel better by putting me down.
After she went away to college, she got pregnant by a non-boyfriend. When she had an abortion, she swore me to secrecy because she didn’t tell the father. Shortly thereafter, he came to me and tricked me into telling him. To this day, Jenny still blames me and says I was out to get her and ruin her life.
Jenny spread rumors about me around our group of friends and on the internet and told my mom horrible lies about me. She even threatened a lawsuit. Ten years later, she still pops up out of the blue to attack me. A year ago, she sent me a message saying she wished I had died in a tornado that struck my area. She sends taunts about an old boyfriend of mine who got married and had a kid.
I never respond because that’s what she wants. She pops up at the worst times and makes me feel worse. How should I deal with her? — At a Boiling Point in Tennessee
A: Continue to ignore this troubled woman. Block her anywhere you can, and delete any messages that leak through so you won’t have to see them. If you have mutual friends who don’t know the whole story, you should have enlightened them years ago, and the same goes for your mother.
Jenny appears to have serious issues. She isn’t a “frenemy.” She is strictly bad news, so recognize it and move on.
Q: While preparing a letter at work, I noticed that it was going to be mailed to a married lesbian couple. Typically, the correct way to address an envelope to a woman would be to Ms., Miss or Mrs. and to a male it’s either Mr. or Master, depending upon his age.
What’s the proper way to address a gay couple? Is M/M still used in place of Mr. and Mr. and Mrs. and Mrs.? — Proper in Illinois
A: According to Steven Petrow’s “Complete Gay and Lesbian Manners,” the correct way to address the envelopes of married gay and lesbian couples should be (in alphabetical order):
Mr. Bradley Burch and Mr. Mark Foster
Ms. Cecelia Carter and Ms. Diane Grant
Or, if the couple share the same last name:
Mr. Bradley and Mr. Mark Burch
Ms. Cecelia and Ms. Diane Carter
Q: Now that I’m older, I often find it hard to remember all the names and amounts of my prescriptions when I visit my various doctors. To help myself, I now carry in my wallet a small copy of a spreadsheet listing all my medication information. That way, I can give accurate details to the physician.
I’d like to pass my solution on to other readers who may have the same need to be precise and up-to-date when visiting the doctor. — In Good Health in Austin
A: That’s a suggestion worth sharing. And while you are at it, you should also list for your doctor any vitamins, supplements and over-the-counter meds you take on a regular basis. This information can also be stored in your smartphone, if you have one.
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.