Kansas City Star Logo

Dear Abby: Woman vanishes after four-year, long-distance relationship | The Kansas City Star

×
  • E-edition
  • Home
    • Customer Service
    • Newsletters
  • Obituaries

    • All News
    • Local news
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • The Buzz
    • Nation & World
    • 913
    • Cass County
    • Lee's Summit
    • Video
    • Photos
    • All Sports
    • Chiefs
    • Royals
    • Royals photos
    • Sporting KC
    • Olympics
    • Kansas
    • Missouri
    • K-State
    • High School
    • Scores & Stats
    • NASCAR
    • Outdoors
    • NBA
    • Buy Tickets
    • Blogs & Columns
    • The Full 90
    • Campus Corner
    • For Pete's Sake
    • Sam Mellinger
    • Vahe Gregorian
    • Politics
    • Elections
    • The Missouri Influencer Series
    • All Opinion
    • Editorials
    • Influencers Opinion
    • Letters to the Editor
    • Colleen Nelson
    • Derek Donovan
    • Dave Helling
    • Melinda Henneberger
    • Steve Kraske
    • Toriano Porter
    • Guest commentary
    • Syndicated columnists
    • Submit a Letter
    • Entertainment
    • Ink
    • Events
    • Arts & Culture
    • Music
    • Comics
    • Stargazing
    • Puzzles & Games
    • Movies
    • Horoscopes
    • Arts
    • TV
    • Restaurants
    • Books
    • Star TV listings
    • All Business
    • Cityscape
    • Development
    • Workplace
    • Personal Finance
    • National/International
    • Technology
    • Kids & Money
    • All Living
    • Chow Town
    • Eat & Drink
    • House & Home
    • KC Gardens
    • Advice columns
    • Faith
    • Travel
    • Family

    • True Blue app
    • Red Zone Extra
    • Star news apps
    • Extra Time KC

  • Cars
  • Contests
  • Jobs
  • Moonlighting
  • Homes
    • Place an ad
    • All Classifieds
  • Spaces
  • KC Weddings

  • Contact us
  • Mobile & Apps

Advice Columns

Dear Abby: Woman vanishes after four-year, long-distance relationship

By JEANNE PHILLIPS

Universal Uclick

    ORDER REPRINT →

October 20, 2016 08:00 AM

Q: I was “ghosted” by a woman I had been in a long-distance relationship with. It lasted four years, until one day she just never responded again.

We are both parents, both 30, so it’s hard for me to understand how someone could do this to a person you’ve had a history with and claim to love. It seems like a child’s reaction. I’m finding it hard to move past this, because I have no idea what happened.

I feel blindsided. Could she have been hurt or died? I have no one to contact and no way to know. My question is, how does one go about moving past this, since it wasn’t a typical breakup? I would really appreciate your thoughts. — Can’t Go Forward

A: What the person did was cowardly, but I’m sorry to say it isn’t that unusual these days. What IS unusual is that during the four years you were in a relationship, you never met any of her friends or family and have no idea how to contact her. Are you absolutely sure she is who she claimed to be and not a catfisher?

Sign Up and Save

Get six months of free digital access to The Kansas City Star

SUBSCRIBE WITH GOOGLE

#ReadLocal

I agree that for someone to do what she did was childish. It was also brutal, and you may need counseling to help you get over it and learn to trust again.

Q: My question may seem odd, but your advice would be appreciated.

I have family who live in another city and have a medium-sized, active dog. I have invited them to visit me in my newly built home, which has soft pine floors throughout. I mentioned to them that I would like to supply dog booties when they visit so their dog’s claws and the grit that gets caught up between its toes would not scratch my brand-new floors. We are a family who has always removed our shoes when we enter a home.

I have tried inviting them numerous times over the past two years, but they always have an excuse why they can’t visit. Another family member told me that a comment was made that, “If we have to put booties on our dog and they want a showcase home, then it will be empty of us.” Am I being silly and too particular with my request and thereby causing ill feelings within the family? — Dog Booties in Canada

A: Your request is neither picky nor “silly.” After paying top dollar for a new floor, I know I certainly wouldn’t want somebody’s pet scratching it up. A considerate guest would either comply or leave the dog at home. If they prefer not to accept your invitation, LET THEM.

Q: I love to cook for my family. My granddaughter has now become a vegan. It has taken away my enjoyment for the fun meals we used to have. I can no longer cook for her, and it has changed the family dynamics. How can I cope with this without being angry? — Sad Down South

A: Allow me to offer two suggestions. Either have your granddaughter bring food with her that she can eat, or widen your repertoire by learning to prepare one vegan dish the entire family can enjoy along with her.

Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

© Universal Uclick 10/20

  Comments  

Videos

KU players Dedric Lawson, K.J. Lawson and Devon Dotson talk about the Jayhawks’ 78-53 win over West Virginia

KU coach Bill Self on the Jayhawks’ 78-53 win Saturday over West Virginia

View More Video

Trending Stories

One killed in massive I-70 pileup near Oak Grove. Driver describes scary experience

February 16, 2019 09:39 AM

First Amendment ‘auditor’ injured during argument with security guard at LA synagogue

February 15, 2019 09:53 AM

Quick scout: Why the Vegas line for KU-West Virginia surprises me

February 16, 2019 07:00 AM

‘Y’all made it!’ Blake Shelton rewards fans who braved snow with raucous KC show

February 16, 2019 08:56 AM

Kansas City travelers beware: Snowfall, slick road conditions to remain this weekend

February 15, 2019 05:16 PM

Read Next

How to navigate storm damage

Community

How to navigate storm damage

By Kat Hnatyshyn Special to The Star

    ORDER REPRINT →

August 26, 2017 06:23 PM

This has certainly been an interesting summer for weather! The entire Kansas City metro has experienced unusual amounts of rainfall and hail, resulting in damage to many homes. If you feel like some of our credit union members, the claim process can be confusing and overwhelming. This week, I’m sharing a few ideas for financially navigating the storm damage process.

KEEP READING

Sign Up and Save

#ReadLocal

Get six months of free digital access to The Kansas City Star

SUBSCRIBE WITH GOOGLE

MORE ADVICE COLUMNS

Advice Columns

Miss Manners: Don’t meet rudeness with more rudeness

June 10, 2017 08:00 AM

Billy Graham

Billy Graham: The Bible’s teachings are eternal

June 09, 2017 08:00 AM

Advice Columns

Miss Manners: Accept friend’s payment gracefully

June 09, 2017 08:00 AM

Billy Graham

Billy Graham: Set an example for those you wish would turn to Christ

June 08, 2017 08:00 AM

Billy Graham

Billy Graham: Real hope comes from eternal life, not reincarnated lives

June 07, 2017 08:00 AM

Advice Columns

Miss Manners: Stand firm, politely, on rejecting pay cut proposal

June 06, 2017 08:00 AM
Take Us With You

Real-time updates and all local stories you want right in the palm of your hand.

Subscriptions
  • Start a Subscription
  • Customer Service
  • eEdition
  • Vacation Hold
  • Pay Your Bill
  • Rewards
Learn More
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Newsletters
  • News in Education
Advertising
  • Advertising information
  • Print
  • Digital
  • Place a Classified
  • Local Deals
Copyright
Commenting Policy
Privacy Policy
Terms of Service


Back to Story