Go ahead, make fun of the Golden Globe Awards. Host Ricky Gervais is way ahead of you.
“That award is, no offense, worthless,” the actor told the assembled glitterati Sunday night. “It’s a bit of metal that some nice, old confused journalists wanted to give you in person so they could meet you and have a selfie with you. If you do win tonight, no one cares.”
Oh, but they do. As much as Hollywood observers dump on these awards — brought to you by the tiny Hollywood Foreign Press Association, not film industry professionals — the show draws celebrity-loving TV audiences and gives a shot of momentum to Academy Award hopefuls (those nominations will be announced Thursday).
Gervais, as he did in his three previous acidic hosting gigs, went out of his way to lower expectations. He called out the Globes for arbitrarily labeling some film dramas as comedies: “The Martian” (which won), “The Big Short” and “Joy” were nominated along with the laugh-out-loud “Trainwreck” and “Spy.”
“To be fair, ‘The Martian’ was a lot funnier than ‘Pixels,’ ” Gervais said, taking an easy shot at Adam Sandler’s latest comedy. “Then again, so was ‘Schindler’s List.’ ”
The rest of the three-hour 73rd annual Globes ceremony, at the Beverly Hilton hotel, was filled with much more irreverence, as well as a few sincere, heartfelt moments. Here are the highlights:
Bear with him: Channing Tatum bestowed the first award of the evening, for best supporting actress in a drama (Kate Winslet won for the little-seen “Steve Jobs”). His co-presenter? Leonardo DiCaprio’s “co-star” from best drama winner “The Revenant”: a bear, aka Jonah Hill in a fuzzy hat. He took time to thank director Alejandro Iñárritu: “I’m a 2-year-old bear from the Sierra Mountains, and you took a chance on me. And I don’t forget it.”
Eye of the tiger: Thirty-nine years after his last Globes nomination for the original “Rocky,” Sylvester Stallone won a supporting actor award for returning as Rocky in “Creed.” After receiving a standing ovation, Stallone thanked his wife, Jennifer Flavin: “To have your love is the greatest award in the world.” Aww. “But most of all,” he added, “I’d like to thank my imaginary friend, Rocky Balboa, for being the best friend I ever had.”
Still mad: As long as Gervais was going to offend people anyway, the Globes invited disgraced actor Mel Gibson to introduce drama nominee “Mad Max: Fury Road.” Said Gervais, in introducing the original Max: “I’d rather have a drink with him in his hotel room than Bill Cosby.” Gibson countered: “I love seeing Ricky every three years because it reminds me to get a colonoscopy.”
Crazy like a Foxx: Presenter Jamie Foxx announced that the winner of best original score was “Straight Outta Compton.” Except that movie, a biopic of rappers N.W.A., wasn’t even nominated. “I’m sorry, I made a mistake. I take full responsibility,” Foxx said, obviously poking fun at Steve Harvey, who infamously announced the wrong winner of Miss Universe. “I apologize to everyone in Compton, to Ice Cube …” The real winner was Quentin Tarantino’s “The Hateful Eight.”
Gaga for Gaga: Grammy-winning pop star Lady Gaga surprised prognosticators by winning best actress for a limited TV series for “American Horror Story: Hotel.” “I wanted to be an actress before I wanted to be a singer, but music worked out first,” she said. “This is one of the greatest moments in my life.”
What’s in a name? Presenter Jennifer Lawrence, aka J-Law, tried to explain to her real-life friend Amy Schumer how Hollywood nicknames work. No, she can’t just start calling herself “A-Shoo.” And, unfortunately, she can’t just make up celebrity couplings for herself: “Am-Tom Hardy?” Schumer suggested, hopefully “Amy-All the Hemsworths?” No, sorry.
Hamm it up: Jon Hamm won best actor in a TV drama for playing Don Draper, the jerk we all rooted for on “Mad Men,” which aired its final episode last spring. Hamm thanked the show’s creator, Matthew Weiner, for “writing this horrible person all the way to the end of this incredible ride.”
“Cookies for everyone tonight!” When Taraji P. Henson won best actress in a TV drama — for playing ex-con turned music mogul Cookie Lyon on “Empire” — she doled out chocolate chip cookies all the way to the stage. She wasn’t nominated for previous roles in “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” or “The Karate Kid.” “It’s Cookie, 17 years in jail for selling crack. OK!”
He needs larger print: Denzel Washington knew in advance he would receive the prestigious Cecil B. DeMille Award, but he was not his usual commanding self, fumbling over his words and looking helplessly at his family. Finally he revealed the reason: “I need my glasses.” Ah, vanity.