Stargazing

Polish officials to ‘hermaphrodite’ Winnie the Pooh: No pants, no park

Winnie the Pooh posed for a photo during a ceremony in April 2006 at the Walk of Fame in Los Angeles.
Winnie the Pooh posed for a photo during a ceremony in April 2006 at the Walk of Fame in Los Angeles. Associated Press

Winnie the Pooh, the world’s most beloved honey addict, is getting no love from officials in a small Polish town who think the pantsless character is not an appropriate mascot for a children’s park there.

As reported by The Croation Times, London’s Daily Mail and other international news outlets, officials in Tuszyn, Poland were recently discussing possible mascots for it’s town playground.

Someone brought up Winnie’s name.

But officials Pooh-Poohed all over the idea because A.A. Milne’s famous children’s character – the star of myriad books, films, TV specials and cartoon series – is a “half-naked,” “inappropriately dressed” bear of “dubious sexuality.”

“The problem with that bear is it doesn’t have a complete wardrobe,” town council member Ryszard Cichy said, according to the Times report. “It is half naked which is wholly inappropriate for children.”

Cichy championed a Polish fictional bear instead, because “ours is dressed from head to toe, unlike Pooh who is only dressed from the waist up.”

Apparently one official was recording this odd discussion and leaked the tape to the media. On the tape, officials can be heard discussing Pooh’s sexual inclinations, too.

“It doesn’t wear underpants because it doesn’t have a sex. It’s a hermaphrodite,” someone said.

And then officials started attacking Pooh’s British creator, too.

Said councilwoman Hanna Jachimska: “This is very disturbing but can you imagine! The author was over 60 and cut his (Pooh's) testicles off with a razor blade because he had a problem with his identity.”

Good thing we can’t hear what they said about Christopher Robin.

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