Kim Kardashian tries to #breaktheInternet by baring rear view

You didn’t think we were going to show you the real thing, now did you?
You didn’t think we were going to show you the real thing, now did you?

Gentle readers, please forgive us for what we are about to share today: news about Kim Kardashian’s rear.

We usually take the high road and ignore the near-daily chatter about Mrs. Kanye West’s most valuable asset, but this time it’s too odd to resist.

For its winter issue, Paper magazine gave itself one assignment: Break the Internet.

“There is no other person that we can think of who is up to the task than one Kim Kardashian West,” the magazine writes on its website. “A pop culture fascination able to generate headlines just by leaving her house, Kim is what makes the web tick.”

So the magazine hired noted French photographer Jean-Paul Goude to recreate one of his most iconic images – a side-view of a model squirting a high arc of champagne from the bottle in her hands into a glass perched on her table-like bum. The photo is called “Champagne Incident.”

Kardashian is the model this time, wearing a form-fitting, strapless black gown for the pic.

“@KimKardashian: And they say I didnt have a talent, try balancing a champagne glass on your a** LOL,” she tweeted.

But just for grins, Goude also photographed the reality TV star from behind, naked, as she pretended to pull up (or down?) the dress over her oiled-up, glistening, globe-like bottom.

Of course, the Twitterverse is having a field day mocking the photo. But two fellow celebrities aren’t laughing.

Former “Glee” actress Naya Rivera posted a shame-on-you comment: “I normally don’t. But ... you’re someone’s mom.”

And singer Lorde, tweeted one word: “Mom.”

Mr. Kim Kardashian weighed in with one word, too: “#ALLDAY.”

If you must, click here to see what the fuss is about. (Insert naked butt alert.)

Oh, and last time time we checked?

The Internet is still working.