Spoiler alert: This story contains news from Monday’s episode of “The Bachelorette.”
A real lady might never kiss and tell, but Kaitlyn Bristowe’s former flames have no problem doing so.
It’s everyone’s favorite time of the year: the annual Bachelorette “The Men Tell All” episode. On Monday night, the men (including Kansas City’s Tanner Tolbert) eliminated from the show – and Kaitlyn’s life – finally dished the dirt on what has happened so far this season.
And they didn’t hold back.
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Here are some highlights from Monday’s episode:
The episode started off with shameless self-promotion when the show revealed a new preview for the upcoming season of “Bachelor in Paradise.”
Key takeaways from the unnecessarily long trailer: KC’s very own Tolbert makes out with a lot of girls, there’s a lot of crying (from both guys and girls) and everyone looks cray cray.
But when it finally came to the bachelors calling each other out, Tolbert got things started and lashed out at Ian – who called Kaitlyn and the bachelors shallow.
“You didn't give any of us a chance to get to know us,” Tolbert. Ian getting “butt hurt” over how Kaitlyn felt about him was disrespectful, he said.
Surprisingly, Ian didn’t disagree with Tolbert. And because he’s a ham, Ian then got on one knee and apologized to the rest of the guys for what he said about them.
“I said things that I really wish that I hadn’t,” he said. “And I really regret the way that I left and I really regret the things that I said.”
I think homeboy is still trying to audition to be the next bachelor.
Brokeback bachelor backstory
So we finally got the lowdown on the “Brokeback Bachelor” storyline between Clint and JJ (on whether they were lovers), and it was anticlimactic.
“First of all I just want on to say that I am a straight man,” Clint deadpanned.
Many of the guys called Clint and JJ out for being “exclusive” and “arrogant” while they were both on the show.
I’m sorry are these girls bickering in their summer camp cabin, or are these grown a** men?
But to JJ, they were just two people who got along really well and liked to get to know each other ... in a hot tub.
“We talked for 4-5 hours because we were intellectually curious about each other,” he said. “We tried to get to know each other.”
JJ was also the first bachelor to be in the hot seat with host Chris Harrison, and most of it consisted of JJ defending his “acquired taste” personality. He didn’t realize his humor would be taken in such a bad way.
“I regret not being more sensitive,” he said.
Every rose has its thorn
Fan favorite and hunky Ben Z. was the next to take the hot seat.
When looking back on his elimination episode, Ben Z. talked about how he was blindsided when he didn’t receive a rose. Until that moment, he thought he and Kaitlyn were on the same page.
He attributed his elimination to him becoming guarded during the group date in Ireland when the guys went to attend Kaitlyn’s fake wake. His mother died from cancer when he was a teenager.
But he had nothing but positive things to say about Kaitlyn and his experience. “This experience taught me how it was ok to open up in a short period of time.”
“Judging by the audience here, I don’t think you’re going to have trouble finding love,” host Chris Harrison responded while the audience (most of which were women) cheered Ben Z. on.
Sweetheart and gentleman Jared took the stage next and admitted that he still thinks about Kaitlyn to this day.
It was hard for him to watch the show, since it brought back a lot of feelings.
“I knew what Kaitlyn and I had and I knew it was wonderful,” he said. “ I knew I would like to continue it and it didn’t work out.”
But good news ladies: Jared will be on “Bachelor in Paradise” where he will most likely get his heart broken again.
The final guy to sit in the hot seat was the lovable puppy dog (and rumored next bachelor) Ben H.
When he took the stage, Ben H. got the most applause of any of the guys. I’ve said this once and I’ll say it again: I mean, have you looked at him?
Like Jared, Ben H. admitted it was hard watching the show because it made him relive “feelings that were so real.” The set up of the show didn’t allow him to get proper closure.
Ben H. also gave viewers the backstory of what really happened in San Antonio when Kaitlyn visited Ben H. and Shawn off camera.
Kaitlyn secretly visited Shawn and Ben, who were roommates, and the three of them talked for six hours. When Ben H. went to take a shower, he said he came back feeling like he was an outsider in the room. It was later revealed that Kaitlyn had told Shawn he was “the one.”
But Ben H. said he thought him confronting Kaitlyn about that night in a later episode helped their relationship.
“I actually think our relationship grew from that situation,” he said.
So when will the show announce Ben H. as the next bachelor? Asking for a friend.
With less than an hour before the show ended, the best moment finally arrived. The bachelors would confront Kaitlyn in-person for the first time.
Before diving into this season’s drama, Harrison discussed the controversy Kaitlyn has caused this season (i.e.: her sleeping with several bachelors) and the cyber hate she’s gotten for it.
“I liked to think of myself as a tough, tough person. I’m so fine with people disagreeing with me. But spreading hate the way people have been is not OK,” she said.
“…I get death threats. Like that hurts.”
Harrison then proceeded to read two tweets and an email that were directed to Kaitlyn, where people basically called her a slut and a terrible person. She cried as he read the tweets, but both the audience and the guys ended up giving her a standing ovation.
Both Ben H. and Jared had the opportunity to ask Kaitlyn a question, but a majority of the time was spent on her decision to bring Nick on the show.
She admitted to building a friendship with Nick before becoming the bachelorette. She said she put him out of her mind because she didn’t think Nick being on the show was a possibility. When Nick showed up, Kaitlyn said she was shocked.
Many of the guys were upset with Kaitlyn for saying that she knew her husband was in the room on the first night, yet bringing Nick on the show anyway. To some, that decision was a slap in the face.
Tolbert brought the words of wisdom that many were feeling.
“…the delivery was a little poor,” he said. “A lot of relationships were a little stalled because every conversation dealt with Nick.” In a way, Nick coming on the show affected all of the relationships, he added.
“I really did care what your guys’ opinion was,” she said. “Try dating this many people at one time and not make a mistake and have it be televised. I dare you. It’s hard.”
At the end of the episode, Kaitlyn was able to ask the guys a couple questions and one went to Kansas City’s Ryan M. –- also known as the guy that got super drunk on the first night, jumped in the pool and made inappropriate comments to Kaitlyn.
“Ryan are you horned up right now?” Kaitlyn asked.
Like the good Midwestern boy he is, Ryan apologized to Kaitlyn and gave her a rose, something he never received.
Ian also apologized to Kaitlyn and gave her a hand-written note. He once again got down on his knees, though had to stand up eventually because he got a cramp.
I guess even models who went to Princeton can get cramps.
Next week is the final week, folks! Kaitlyn will give one last rose to either beefcake Shawn (my editor thought of that one) or creepy Nick.
But forget the rose, the real question is: Will the winner propose?