Stargazing

Kansas City bachelors make big impressions on ‘The Bachelorette’ premiere

Ryan McDill, left, and Tanner Tolbert represent Kansas City on the new season of “The Bachelorette.”
Ryan McDill, left, and Tanner Tolbert represent Kansas City on the new season of “The Bachelorette.” ABC

Warning: This story will contain spoilers from “The Bachelorette.”

Local fans of ABC’s “The Bachelorette” had two hometown guys – Ryan McDill and Tanner Tolbert – to cheer for as Season 11 debuted on Monday.

Now, they just have one.

The rumors were true. Ryan made a less-than-positive first impression on the show and got himself kicked off after drinking too much and touching one of the bachelorettes in a way she (and the show producers) didn’t like.

We won’t know until Tuesday night if the remaining bachelors chose Canadian dance instructor Kaitlyn Bristowe or California waitress Britt Nilsson to be this season’s bachelorette.

The night belongs to Ryan

When Ryan arrived at the mansion he got out of the limo and yelled at the two women waiting: “Honeys, I’m home!” And he continued to make a big noise all night.

First he’s knocking on the window from inside the mansion trying to get the ladies’ attention as they stand outside greeting the guys. He definitely seems to be leading the race of who can get drunk the fastest, another bachelor observes about Ryan, who tells some of his fellow bachelors that he’s “all horned up right now. I’m horned up, everybody.”

“I’d love to take that girl out for a nice steak dinner and never call her again,” he tells one of the bachelors.

At one point he wonders aloud: “Is this the gay bachelor. Seriously?”

Which amps up the growing litany of observations from the others about his behavior, including “he’s that kind of drunk guy ...” and “he’s kind of rubbing people the wrong way.”

When amateur sex coach Shawn from Ontario, Canada pulls up in a car outfitted as a hot tub, water and all, Ryan, who has gone outside to see the car up close, yells out, “that car sucks!”

Kaitlyn’s jaw drops open.

“Bud, we’ll talk inside,” Shawn warns Ryan.

“No, we won’t,” Ryan tells him. “You suck, dude.”

Ryan walks off muttering “woops, now I’m the bad guy.”

Shawn is frustrated because “some jack-ass comes out and starts chirping you for absolutely no reason. I didn’t even know the guy.”

“If I was to give out a worst-impression rose, it would go to Ryan M,” says Kaitlyn

Later, Shawn decides to confront Ryan about why he “disrespected” him outside when he pulled up in the hot tub car and Ryan isn’t having any of it.

“You do suck, by the way,” Ryan tells him before he lays a hand on Shawn’s arm and Shawn warns him off.

Oh no.

“I think Ryan is having some fun,” says Tanner about his fellow Kansas Citian. “He likes to drink. The girls might think it’s funny to begin with, but if he keeps it up it might become less attracted.”

Famous. Last. Words.

J.J. from Denver tries to save Britt from her awkward one-on-one with drunk Ryan by jokingly telling the Kansas City bachelor that “the bar said they have another drink for you.”

Ryan curses at him and warns him: “I feel like you and I are going to get acquainted really quick.”

When drunk Ryan starts to put his hand on Britt’s face, Jonathan steps in and saves her from the awkward interaction.

Next we see Ryan in his stupor referring to the bachelorettes as “hos.”

Then he crosses the unspoken line by tapping Kaitlyn on her backside.

“Hey Ryan, don’t touch my ass again!” she tells the camera. “I’m all about good fun but no, I didn’t like that. Ryan M, I think, crossed the line.”

Ryan is shown stripping off his clothes, walking into the pool and falling over onto the side of the pool holding a beer in one hand.

He saves the beer.

In the voting room Ryan, unsteady on his feet, accidentally knocks one of the women’s pictures off the wall.

One of the bachelors challenges him: Why are you here?

A big, burly dude walks into the room and tells him that host Chris Harrison wants to speak to him.

“I hate to do this, but you’re clearly not here for either one of these girls or for sincere reasons. I really think it’s best that you go home,” Harrison tells him. “There’s a car waiting for you.”

Ryan seems a little perplexed. Or maybe he just can’t stand up any longer.

And off he goes, unceremoniously whisked away in a white van like a jail inmate.

Harrison explains to the guys that he sent Ryan home for a myriad of reasons. Not just because he was drunk or was “beyond inappropriate” with Kaitlyn. “Clearly this guy is not here for the right reasons, so, he’s gone,” Harrison says.

The guys applaud the decision and seem relieved to have Ryan gone.

“I think Chris made the right decision,” says Tanner. “It was time for Ryan to move on so that the rest of us can further our relationships.”

Twitter, too, thought it was a good idea to cut Ryan loose. Social media was unkind to Kansas City’s hometown bachelor. Even last season’s “Bachelor,” Chris Soules, sounded off.

Tanner’s time

After the goofy dancing bachelor and the guy sucking on helium, Tanner makes a gentlemanly entrance. He goes right to Britt first because he’s brought her a gift – a packet of tissues since she cried so much last season.

We think it’s funny, but Britt apparently doesn’t.

Later, when Tanner sits down one-on-one with her, she calls him a bleeped bad word for giving her the tissues. She clearly didn’t enjoy the joke.

“I like Kaitlyn better,” Tanner tells the other bachelors later. “One hundred percent. She’s more real to me.”

The other bachelors

▪ First bachelor we get to meet: Jonathan, 33, from Detroit, an automotive spokesman with a 5-year-old son. “Being a father is the best thing in the world. My version of fun is whatever I get to do with him,” says Jonathan.

He’s looking for the love of his life and find a woman who wants to nurture his son. He likes Britt because she’s gorgeous.

▪ Is it just us, but does Joe from Kentucky sound a little like Forrest Gump?

▪ Josh the male dancer/law school grad from Chicago starts doing a striptease on his way out of the limo. “Britt, you can have this one,” Kaitlyn says.

▪ How to top a hot tub car? Try a car shaped like a giant cupcake with a top that lifts off like the lid of a flying saucer. It’s dentist Chris from Nashville, who normally tells his patients to avoid sugar, but he wanted to do something really sweet for the ladies. Speaking of teeth, he’s got the best smile.

▪ Tony the healer from St. Louis looks deeply into Britt’s eyes and tells her he believes in love, real kind of love and hopes that the universe provides. Then he goes over to Kaitlyn and says exactly the same thing. This is the guy who admits he’s “essentially anti-social at times.” Run, bachelorettes, run!

▪ J.J. scores the line of the night: “I played ice hockey my whole life and I would love to puck you,” he tells Kaitlyn as he pulls a puck out of his pocket.

“You pucked me good,” laughs Kaitlyn.

He tells Britt, “I wish I would have known. I would have pucked you, too.”

He shoots, he scores!

▪ What’s with all the Southern guys? Brady, 33, is a singer-songwriter from Nashville. Like most songwriters who write sad songs, he can’t find love. He’s going to vote for Britt because she’s beautiful. If we had a nickel for every bachelor who has already said that about Britt ...

Favorite flashback

The show replayed Kaitlyn’s rauncy joke to her fellow bachelorettes on last season’s “The Bachelor”: “Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party? Because he wanted to find a tight seal.”

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