Missouri woman gives the world a new holiday game: Poop the Potato

Hey, what’s that man doing in that bucket? He’s just playing Poop the Potato.
Hey, what’s that man doing in that bucket? He’s just playing Poop the Potato. Barbara Dalton

Cop a squat, dear readers. We have a story to tell.

Retired physical education teacher Barbara Dalton of Bloomfield, Mo. is enjoying a white-hot moment of viral fame leading up to Christmas after posting a video of her friends playing a parlor game she found online.

It’s called Poop the Potato.

Stay with us here.

“We’re tired of Spin the Bottle and have moved on to Poop the Potato,” Dalton wrote when she posted the video to her Facebook page on Dec. 17. In less than a week, it’s been viewed nearly 40 million times and shared nearly 730,000 times.

People commenting on Facebook are Ha-Ha-Ha-ing all over themselves.

Guess what they’ll be doing on Christmas Day?

Here’s what it will look like.

Those are Dalton’s friends — “we’re between 60 and 70 years old” — playing.

Dalton, 66, stayed out of the side-splitting shots because she was filming. (She’s one smart Christmas cookie.)

Ahead of a Christmas party at her house, Dalton went online to look for something new and different for her game-loving friends to try.

“I saw this one game and it was called Poop the Potato,” she said, thinking it sounded fun.

But she worried: “I don’t know if the group will do it.”

Boy did they.

“We just died laughing,” said Dalton. “A couple of them fell on the floor laughing.”

Here’s the gist: you need raw potatoes, one for each person playing, and two 5-gallon buckets.

Separate into two teams. Set the buckets across the room.

Participants stick a potato between their legs and waddle/race across the room and try to drop the spuds into the buckets by squatting over them, “like you would drop a deuce in the toilet,” as Mashable so delicately described.

The team that “poops” the most potatoes into their bucket wins.

The biggest challenge, Dalton said, “is probably keeping the potato between your legs. It’s not at your knees, it’s up a bit further.”

And if you miss the bucket?

“That’s a good question. I don’t know,” she said. “I don’t think the rules said. It would be funnier if you did miss the bucket, though.”

And how low does one have to squat?

“Well, let’s see,” she said. “The further you squat down, the funnier it is.”

She didn’t find any video of the game, just the written rules. Showing people how it’s played no doubt has led to her spud-tacular success. “They’re just blowing up my Facebook page,” she said.

She’s gotten feedback on the video from all over the world — South Africa, Japan, China, Ireland. (What, not Idaho?) “It’s just gone everywhere,” she said.

The question that a lot of people ask: What did she do with the potatoes after the game?

One man joked that no one better ever accept a potato casserole from Dalton.

She’s not even sure what happened to the potatoes her friends played with last week.

“They may still be in the bucket,” she laughed, noting that she’s hosting another festive gathering on Christmas Eve.