Sorry, people. There’s no tea left.
Quincy Jones just sipped it all.
The legendary music producer will turn 85 next month and and lately, he’s been sharing stories about the most famous people in the world like a man who doesn’t give a damn anymore, or maybe never did.
Pick a name. Any name.
Between an interview late last month in GQ and a new Vulture interview with David Marchese that’s got Twitter rolling on the floor, Jones is sounding off on everyone from the Beatles and Michael Jackson to Donald Trump and Taylor Swift.
(Just don’t ask about Bill Cosby or his good friends, Bill and Hillary Clinton. He’s got nothing to say about them in public.)
“All I’ve ever done is tell the truth,” he told Marchese. “I’ve got nothing to be scared of, man.”
Here’s some of the gospel according to Quincy Jones and how it has blessed social media.
On Donald Trump: In the Vulture interview, Jones blamed “Trump and uneducated rednecks” for stirring up racial tension in the country.
“Trump is just telling them what they want to hear. I used to hang out with him. He’s a crazy motherf***er. Limited mentally — a megalomaniac, narcissistic. I can’t stand him.”
On Ivanka Trump: “I used to date Ivanka, you know,” he told Vulture. “Yes, sir. Twelve years ago. Tommy Hilfiger, who was working with my daughter Kidada, said, ‘Ivanka wants to have dinner with you.’ I said, ‘No problem. She’s a fine motherf***er.’ She had the most beautiful legs I ever saw in my life. Wrong father, though.”
On Taylor Swift: In the GQ interview, writer Chris Heath asked Jones if he liked Taylor Swift. Heath described how Jones made a face “somewhere between disapproval and disdain.”
“We need more songs, man,” Jones said. “F***ing songs, not hooks.”
When Heath said that some people consider Swift the great songwriter of “our age,” Jones laughed. “Whatever crumbles your cookie,” he said.
On Michael Jackson: “I hate to get into this publicly, but Michael stole a lot of stuff,” he told Vulture. “He stole a lot of songs. (Donna Summer’s) ‘State of Independence’ and ‘Billie Jean.’ The notes don’t lie, man. He was as Machiavellian as they come.”
On the Beatles: They were “the worst musicians in the world,” Jones told Marchese. “They were no-playing motherf***ers. Paul was the worst bass player I ever heard. And Ringo? Don’t even talk about it ... great guy, though.”
On John F. Kennedy: He told Marchese he wishes he didn’t know who killed the president. He said Chicago mobster Sam Giancana did it. Giancana allegedly helped deliver votes for Kennedy in Illinois in the 1960 presidential election.
“The connection was there between (Frank) Sinatra and the Mafia and Kennedy,” Jones said. “Joe Kennedy — he was a bad man — he came to Frank to have him talk to Giancana about getting votes.”
On the Clintons: Marchese asked why people have such a visceral dislike of his friends. “It’s because there’s a side of her — when you keep secrets, they backfire,” Jones said.
When Marchese pressed him to spill the secrets, he said: “This is something else I shouldn’t be talking about ... I know too much, man.”
On Cyndi Lauper: He told Vulture that during the recording of the “We Are the World” anthem, Lauper had her manager tell him the “rockers don’t like the song.”
“I know how that s**t works,” Jones said. “We went to see Springsteen, Hall & Oates, Billy Joel, and all those cats and they said, ‘We love the song.’ So I said (to Lauper), ‘Okay, you can just get your s**t over with and leave.
“And she was f***ing up every take because her necklace or bracelet was rattling in the microphone. It was just her that had a problem.”
On Frank Sinatra: “I love him. He was bipolar, you know. He had no gray,” he told Marchese. “He either loved you with all of his heart or else he’d roll over your a** in a Mack truck in reverse.
“He was tough, man. I saw all of it. You know, I’d see him try to fight — he couldn't fight worth a s**t. He’d get drunk, and Jilly, his right-hand guy, stone gangster, would get behind him and break the guy’s ribs. Man. What memories.”
On his 22 girlfriends: The thrice-married Jones told GQ he has nearly two dozen girlfriends at the moment. They’re “everywhere,” he said. “Cape Town. Cairo. Stockholm — she's coming in next week. Brazil — Belo Horizonte, São Paulo, and Rio. Shanghai — got a great girl over there from Shanghai, man. Cairo, whew.”