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Next time the Hollywood writers go on strike, the studios should pack up and head to Kansas City. We have a lot of funny people here.
For this go-around of the Star Magazine Caption Contest, in which we asked readers to write fake captions for six pictures from Royals seasons past, we were grand-slammed with entries. Hundreds and hundreds. Even more than last year, when the pictures were all about cows.
In Kansas City we like our cows, apparently, but we love our Royals — even when they lose. And even when we’re poking gentle fun at them.
The winning caption writer for each picture scores a $25 gift card. The runners-up will have to content themselves with seeing their names and their captions in StarMag .
Our thanks to everyone who took the time to enter. Go Royals!
| Tim Engle
“I work for the Royals, not the twins.”
| Lila Curnutte, Amsterdam, Mo.
| Mary Caffrey, Marysville, Kan.
“I may have a beautiful wife and three boys someday. I think I better pass!”
| Tim Coleman, Overland Park
Due to their distracting nature, the short-lived tradition of “bat girls” was unceremoniously discontinued. Batting averages soared — but team morale took a hit.
| John Theisman, Gardner in Johnson County
Now available on CD … the Breast of George Brett.
| Jeff McHenry, Leawood
“Regarding your swing, George, I’ve got two points I want to make …”
| Karen Langtry, Prairie Village
George says he loves long walks on the beach, quiet strolls through the garden and romantic snuggles with his girlfriend right in the middle of his baseball games. | Kyle Hammel, Kansas City, Kan.
The Royals are rethinking “Bring Your Girlfriend to Work Day.”
| Jim Pilsl, Olathe
“Is that another bat in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?”
| Chris Southard, Harrisonville
“Morganna, I thought I told you to stop bothering me at work!”
| Tim McCray, Overland Park
“So you think you’re having a good season? I bet my stats are better than yours.”
| Randy Catlett, Overland Park
“Honey, I told you to wait in the car.”
| Shirley McDermott, Kansas City
“Hey, I’ll let you in on a little secret. They’re fake!”
| Joanne Klasinski, Lenexa
“First things first: Did you remember to bring the pine tar?”
| Janet Williams, De Soto in Johnson County
“The smell of pine tar really turns me on.”
| Shyrlee Davis, Independence
“I need to get something off my chest, Morganna.”
| Virginia Hall, Mound City, Kan.
The moment George Brett came up with the idea for Halter Top Day.
| Mark Killingsworth, Shawnee
“But George, last night you promised I could bat for you.” | Joan Edwards, Leawood
“Remember, what happens at the K stays at the K.”
| Roger Riggans, Kansas City, Kan.
A trip down mammary lane.
| Roger Johnson, Independence, Kan.
“Hi, George! Remember me and the twins?”
| John and Denise Heishman, Stilwell in Johnson County
Iriana Babuxomstra instructs partner George Brett on the moves of a steamy rumba for “Dancing With the Stars.”
| Michelle Williams, Raytown
“I hope you don’t mind if I hold this against you.”
| Dale Midland, Maryville, Mo.
“You’d better git, Morg. My wife’s sittin’ on the second row!”
| Michael G. Lundeen, Fort Scott, Kan.
“Dolly, you sure look different without your guitar.”
| G. Christopher, Amoret, Mo.
Hitting coach Trixie LaRue gives rookie third baseman the signal for a double-bagger.
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