One of the biggest complaints amongst the soccer haters? Too few goals. If every weekend were like this weekend, that argument would be put to rest.
The top three teams in England outscored their opponents 16-0. Five MLS teams featured 21 total goals. The top two teams in Spain scored 8 between them. Of course, that's not all that happened this weekend.
Seattle's ownership makes a bold move (or PR stunt, depending on your vantage point) and the EPL's golden boot winner suffered a moment of complete petulance that slightly sullied Chelsea's victory.
The Winners1. The dominant Blues
Chelsea proved to be the better squad in the Premiership in emphatic fashion, drubbing poor Wigan 8-0
. The Blues demolished nearly every team in their wake and, I think, are the first team in the history of the premiership to beat Manchester United, Liverpool and Arsenal twice in league play in one season. Manchester United finished second (after beating Stoke City 4-0), Arsenal finished third (crushing Fulham 4-0 as well) and Tottenham took the last Champions League spot (even though they lost 4-2 to Burnley). Manchester City, Aston Villa and Liverpool qualified for the Europa League. Hull City, Burnley and Portsmouth were relegated.2. The Los Angeles Galaxy
The Galaxy absolutely demolished Seattle (in Seattle) 4-0. Landon Donovan ran the Sounders ragged with a goal and three assists (save some of those for the national squad Landon!). It's not even a fun game to play anymore. The Galaxy are the class of MLS
.3. MLS fans who like lots of goals
The goals came in buckets...
• Los Angeles 4-Seattle 0
• Real Salt Lake 3-Philadelphia 0
• San Jose 4-New York Red Bulls 0
• Columbus 3-New England 2
• Toronto FC 4-Chicago 1
The last result is notable because of this goal.The weekend's other big winners... Bobby Convey ... Bayern Munich (officially) ... Real Madrid and Barcelona (who are neck and neck as La Liga approaches the end) ... Blackpool and Leicester City will meet in the Championship playoff for the final promotion spot ... Stuart Holden ... Benfica ... the only time we'll probably ever link to a story about the Swiss Cup Final
The Losers1. Seattle Sounders
It's either a tremendous show of humility or bravado. I can't decide. In the wake of the Sounders' 4-0 walloping at the hands Los Angeles, Seattle's ownership announced they will give all season-ticket holders credit against next year's tickets
. The cynic in me wonders a) can they afford that? and b) is this just a PR stunt to take eyes away from the result on the field?2. Didier Drogba, Francesco Totti Steven Gerrard
Three world-class players all had world-class displays of jerkiness.
• Drogba bagged a hat-trick which assured he'd win the golden boot for the season. But he had a moment ofpure petulance
as he tried to take the ball from Frank Lampard to take a penalty kick (despite the fact that Lampard was the one who was fouled) and pouted as Lampard cooly put the PK into the back of the net.
•Totti has been suspended for four Italian Cup games
for kicking out at Mario Balotelli in a game last week.
• Gerrard capped a frustrating season bypushing a pitch invader after Liverpool's 0-0 loss
. Gerrard's behavior is the most excusable of the trio, I mean, what would you do if someone came at you on the field of play? But still, you shouldn't touch the fans. Ask Ron Artest or Eric Cantona.3. U.S.-based fans of Rangers
The Scottish power has backed out their planned U.S. tour in the wake of a Boston Globe editorial
that blamed Rangers fans for the violent clashes that take place when Rangers and Celtic play. The Old Firm sides were planning on a friendly at Fenway Park. That's out the window now.The rest of the losers... D.C. United ... Juventus ... Manchester United (who will rue a 1-0 loss at Burnley, a 1-0 home loss to Villa and the 3-0 loss at Fulham as results that would've sewn up a fourth-straight title) ... Mexico and the United States (who could see a future where they'll play 22 World Cup qualifying games) ... The U.S. men's U-17 team (who had to cancel a European trip thanks to volcanic ash) ... German hooligans ... Fox Soccer Plus.