Notes from a columnist held hostage (again): Loss No. 11 in a row.</p><p>Three years ago, you might recall, the Royals lost a few games in a row. That&#8217;s when my editor decided it would be good if I stayed with the club and wrote columns every game until they finally won. Great idea, you know, until the Royals lost 19 consecutive games, three weeks of losing, and I had to go to Oakland to see the streak break.</p><p>That was the first columnist held hostage.</p><p>After that, whenever the Royals got into an extended losing streak, my editor called. I became the losing streak plumber. In 2005, I was held hostage for an 11-game losing streak, and then again for a 13-game losing streak &#8230; it really was getting ridiculous. At least I thought so. My editor, on the other hand, thought it was great, because, honestly, she loves torturing me.</p><p>This year, I was supposed to be off for the summer so I could work on a book. But before I left, my editor asked: &#8220;What if the Royals go on a losing streak? Will you come back?&#8221; I thought hard about this. I looked at these Royals. They seemed to have pretty good starting pitching. They have an excellent closer. They added outfielder Jos&#233; Guillen to a young and promising lineup. They had a young and enthusiastic manager. There was no way, I decided, this team would go on a extended losing streak.</p><p>&#8220;Yeah, sure, I&#8217;ll come back,&#8221; I said.</p><p>See, this is why my editor is an editor, and I&#8217;m a writer. She&#8217;s smarter than me.</p><p>So here I am, baseball hostage again, watching the Royals lose to Minnesota 5-1 on Thursday. For some reason, this one struck me as the most depressing loss in this 11-game losing streak (so far). I know that&#8217;s ridiculous. There have been some <em>amazingly </em>depressing losses on this losing streak. Heck, it began with the Royals getting no-hit in Boston. Then there was the game they gave up two grand slams. There was the extra-inning loss after Mark Teahen tied the score with an inside-the-park home run in the bottom of the ninth.</p><p>And Wednesday night, of course, the Royals lost in the goriest ending since &#8220;There Will Be Blood.&#8221; They blew a five-run lead with two outs in the ninth thanks to a series of improbable events, beginning with David DeJesus suddenly and inexplicably breaking out in hives. Yes. Hives. It was downhill from there.</p><p>One quick note on that Wednesday game: There is a neat little program on the Internet called &#8220;Win Expectancy Finder&#8221; which lets you see how often a team has won or loss in just about every situation between 1977 and 2006. In those 30 years, this very situation &#8212; home team up by five runs, runner on first, two outs in the ninth &#8212; came up 826 times. The home team won, um, 826 times. So, hey, at least the Royals made a little history.</p><p>Still, something about Thursday&#8217;s game felt even more wretched. The Royals had lost 10 in a row. Their highest paid player, Guillen, had gone on an R-rated rant after the loss, and he called some unnamed teammates &#8220;babies.&#8221; The Royals sent first baseman Billy Butler to the minor leagues, moved starter Brett Tomko to the bullpen, benched shortstop Tony Pe&#241;a &#8212; they did everything except rain dance in the outfield.</p><p>And the game began, and the Royals never looked more helpless &#8212; not even during the no-hitter. Minnesota starter Kevin Slowey was making only the 17th start of his career. He&#8217;s only 24. He had never pitched more than seven innings in a big-league game. He had all sorts of troubles with his pitch counts. He had a 1-4 record. His name is <em>Slowey</em>, for crying out loud. Unless the Royals find a pitcher named &#8220;Hangingcurvey&#8221; this was about as good a chance as they would get.