One thing you can say about these Royals: They are reliable. I went out Thursday night with the tentative idea of writing about the remarkably bad base running they have exhibited this year. And it has been legendarily bad.</p><p> But here&rsquo;s the thing about choosing a column topic before the game &mdash; the game has a knack of killing early ideas. I mean: If you go out to write about how well a team is pitching, the starter probably will give up nine runs. If you go out to write about how well a team is fielding, they&rsquo;ll make three errors. It&rsquo;s just how things work.</p><p> So, I had backup plans if the Royals ran the bases well on this night. I was open to writing something else if the Royals had given me something else. I should not have worried about it. First inning, Willie Bloomquist was on first and he took off on what looked like a hit-and-run play. Billy Butler hit a lazy fly ball to center field &hellip; Bloomquist did not see it. &ldquo;Willie checked and couldn&rsquo;t pick it up,&rdquo; Royals manager Trey Hillman said.</p><p> White Sox center fielder Brian Anderson caught the pop-up, had plenty of time to set and throw out Bloomquist for the double play. First inning!</p><p> Second inning, Mark Teahen on first base, and he took off on what he said was a straight steal. Miguel Olivo hit a lazy fly ball to right field.</p><p>&ldquo;Mark didn&rsquo;t check,&rdquo; Hillman said.</p><p>White Sox right fielder Jermaine Dye caught the pop-up, had plenty of time to set and throw out Teahen for the double play.</p><p> Like I say: These Royals are reliable.</p><p>&bull;&bull;&bull; </p><p> Here&rsquo;s the thing about baseball in 2009: People count everything. Check swings? Someone&rsquo;s counting those. Pitcher throws to first? Someone&rsquo;s counting those too. And so, when I tell you that the Royals are <em>by far </em>the worst base-running team in baseball, that is not merely an off-the-cuff observation from the press box.</p><p> No, there are numbers to back this up. Bill James and his people have put together a system where they measure all sorts of base-running acts &mdash; how often a runner goes first to third or scores from second on a single, how often he scores from first on a double, how many extra bases a team picks up on wild pitches or sac flies, how many double plays they hit into, etc. &mdash; and tthey use that data to figure how many bases a team gains or loses depending on their base running.</p><p> For instance, the Colorado Rockies are the best base-running team in the game. So far this year, they have picked up 61 more bases than the average team. That&rsquo;s pretty meaningful. The San Diego Padres are the second-worst base-running team in baseball. The have picked up 36 <em>fewer</em> bases than the average team. That&rsquo;s pretty miserable.</p><p> The Royals? They are a mind-boggling minus-77 bases.</p><p> Minus-77. That&rsquo;s like a whole other planet. No other team is even <em>close</em> to that kind of awful. The Royals are the Usain Bolt of terrible base running. How do they do it? Well, they hit into more double plays per opportunity than any team in the game <em>by far.</em> They have picked up fewer extra bases than any team in baseball <em>by far</em>.</p><p> They also don&rsquo;t pick up the extra base &mdash; second baseman Alberto Callaspo, just as an example, is one for 15 going first to third on a single. <em>One for 15.</em> To give you a comparison, Chicago DH Jim Thome, who would plead guilty to being really slow (he has zero triples and one stolen base since 2005) is two for seven going first to third.</p><p> The Royals are terrible at a lot of things. They are a terrible defensive team &mdash; they have allowed more unearned runs than any team in baseball. They are a terrible hitting team &mdash; this is their biggest failing. They are 13th in the American League in runs scored, 13th in batting average, 13th in walks, 13th in home runs, 13th in total bases &mdash; they are a very unlucky 13 when it comes to offense. They have not scored more than four runs in a game in almost two weeks.