Jason Whitlock  

COMMENTARY

Managing the Royals is a crazy job

You do realize that ever since Ewing Kauffman took ill and left the Royals to be run by his underlings, Kansas City’s baseball managers have been pretty goofy, maybe even downright crazy?

Think about it. There’s really no mystery as to why the Royals have been the worst professional sports franchise for the better part of 15 years. They were great because of Ewing Kauffman. And they stink now because he left a terrible succession plan that empowered David Glass to devalue the franchise before purchasing it, and little incentive to improve it because it was bought at such a bargain and the rules stipulate he can’t profit from the sale of the team anyway.

The victims, besides Kansas City’s hardcore baseball fans?

The managers who have lost their baseball minds trying to make sense of the Royals’ Wal-Mart philosophy.

Hal McRae was the first to snap, imploding and exploding in an unforgettable clubhouse rant that left one reporter wounded.

Bob Boone was next. He figured the only way to win in Kansas City was by reinventing the game. He turned Jose Offerman into a first baseman, Bob Hamelin into a softball slugger and Star columnist Jeffrey Flanagan into an assassin armed with a Boone-O-meter to track Boone’s lineups.

Tony Muser lasted five seasons with the Royals before he started complaining about milk and cookies. Tony Peña actually led the Royals to a winning season before cracking up, jumping into a shower fully clothed and entangling himself in his neighbor’s divorce. Buddy Bell had the good sense to quit before getting fired.

Now Trey Hillman’s on the clock.

When I made it up to the press box before Saturday night’s contest with the Indians, the first complaint I heard from a passionate Royals follower was the same gripe I’ve heard about nearly every Royals manager in the post-Kauffman era: too much tinkering with the lineup.

You see, when you manage the Royals, you try to win the game from the dugout. You play hunches. You turn 165-pound, no-pop, career shortstops like Jose Offerman into everyday first basemen, and you brag about it.

You do crazy (stuff), especially when you’re in the middle of a 12-game losing streak. No team has had more practice fixing losing streaks than the Kansas City Royals.

So I didn’t find much irony that on “John Mayberry Bobblehead Night” at The K, Mark Teahen was still masquerading as a major-league first baseman. Compared to Jose Offerman, Teahen is a power hitter on par with Barry Bonds.

Esteban German at shortstop made sense, too. Hell, he had three hits the night before in the two hole and playing second. Why not throw him out there at short and let him hit eighth? It doesn’t matter that the Royals brought 27-year-old Mike Aviles up from Omaha three nights ago. Aviles got his one chance Thursday night and blew it with a zero-for-three showing and deserves to sit the bench for two straight nights.

If you can’t figure a career minor-leaguer out in three at-bats, then you need to get out of the game. I’m sure Aviles will be back in Omaha soon, confidence destroyed and looking forward to his next big-league call-up.

It’s funny how the same thing keeps happening to Royals managers. It doesn’t matter how much experience they do or don’t have. It doesn’t matter how intelligent or enthusiastic they are. They all eventually snap managing in David Glass’ franchise.

You can’t win baseball games from the dugout, no matter how hard you try. Baseball games are won in the front office on draft day, around trading deadlines and free-agent signings. It’s a players’ game.

Football and basketball coaches can devise surprise strategies that make a difference. A football coach can elevate his team’s emotion enough to make a difference. About the most influential thing a baseball manager can do is sense when his pitcher is out of gas. When he consistently tries to do more than that, he ends up looking silly and finds himself mired in another losing streak.

Trey Hillman is going to take a lot of heat this season. He never coached, managed or played in the big leagues. According to hardcore Royals followers, his skin is thin. I’m sure the media work a bit differently in Japan than in the States.

Hillman isn’t the problem. The problem is the Royals draft poorly and on a tight budget, their free-agent signings are reaches and they rarely have anything of value to trade. As long as that’s the case, there will always be losing streaks and crazy managers to write and talk about in Kansas City.

To reach Jason Whitlock, call 816-234-4869 or send e-mail to jwhitlock@kcstar.com. For previous columns, go to KansasCity.com.