Go ahead and pick a flat, uninspired, nature-deprived city for your convention.
Delegates probably wouldn’t appreciate gazing upon a stirring mountain range that inspired Katharine Lee Bates to write a poem that became a little patriotic ditty called, “America The Beautiful.”
“Oh, purple mountain majesty ...”
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That’s right. Purple. As in the political color of Colorado, which is a swing state crucial for a 2016 presidential victory ... just a reminder. (For counter views, see opinions from Kansas City, Cleveland and Dallas.)
Why would anyone want to visit a city that is booming — with young people moving in from around the country, tech firms setting up shop and nearly perfect weather well into summer?
Denver has bike paths, quaint neighborhoods and the best beer on the planet. It also has legal marijuana, which is not exactly on the Republican platform. However, if you want to have a real party ...
No, by all means pick another city, like Cleveland. Denverites love that city, especially its football team that provides the Broncos with memorable games that have their own theme names like “The Drive” or “The Fumble.”
Forbes in 2010 tabbed Cleveland as the most miserable city in America, but don’t let that stop you. In 2013, it was ranked only 17th on that list with the caveat, “Only Detroit and Flint have had a faster exodus rate out of the city than Cleveland over the past three years.”
And the crime rate? Consistently impressive, which should provide an extra thrill for delegates.
And then there is Dallas, which despite its big ole fat wallet is as flat as an armadillo on Interstate 35E at rush hour.
Cities on Colorado’s Front Range often get recognized as the fittest and slimmest in the nation, while Dallas is on the other end of the scale … literally.
And please don’t be deterred by the fact that the average temperature in Dallas in June, when the convention will occur, is 92 degrees, with humidity off the charts.
How hot is Dallas in June? Cows give evaporated milk, chickens lay hard-boiled eggs and seat belts become branding irons.
Finally, there is Kansas City.
Despite the fact that it’s not even in Kansas, what is there to say about K.C.? Not much.
It has its own rock and roll song. It’s known for barbecue and jazz. It has a football and baseball team. What’s not to like?
It’s hard to believe Denver is even still in contention.
Jeremy Meyer is an editorial writer at The Denver Post