In today’s episode of just-try-to-unsee-this: A calf born in Texas a few days ago has a face that looks like Kiss frontman Gene Simmons in his stage makeup.
Even weirder: The calf has its big ol’ pink tongue hangin’ out of its mouth, just like Simmons’ trademark licker.
Still weirder: The local tourism folks joked that Simmons might be the father.
The calf was named Genie.
Never miss a local story.
British media were among the first to report on this freak of nature.
She sent a photo to the local tourism folks, Hill Country Tourism, who posted in on their Facebook page.
Wrote the tourism folks, their own tongues firmly planted in cheek: “Gene Simmons, Where were you on our (sic) about November 25, 2016?”
Taccetta reported that the cows were listening to Kiss music from a rock station in San Antonio, but it’s unclear if that was before, during or after conception.
Simmons saw the Sun’s story and tweeted it out, noting: “This is real, folks!!!”
The photo renewed all those false rumors that Simmons, at one point, had a cow tongue grafted onto his own.
Jokes about his well-documented appetite for sex flowed, too. “What happens on the road, is supposed to stay on the road,” snarked one Facebook user.
The calf’s rare face might have just spared it from a medium-rare fate.
“Obviously, we can’t serve this fine specimen,” the tourism officials wrote, adding that Genie could instead become a mascot for the steakhouse.
Rock on, Genie.