I could opine this week about Donald Trump and Trump U and his disparagement of all things journalism.
But I’m a little weary of Mr. Trump, and it’s only June.
I could opine about the trust thing and the lack-of-candor thing with Hillary Clinton and her stunning inability to capitalize on Trump’s missteps.
But I’m a little worn out by it all. Aren’t you?
Never miss a local story.
Or I could open up on Gov. Sam Brownback, who is choosing to threaten rather than lead as Kansas faces the very real possibility of another constitutional crisis over school funding. An embarrassment, this is.
But this week, I’m talking geese.
Canada geese and the latest challenge facing Kansas City.
I’m only half joking.
Mix water, short grass and open land and the geese come a-flocking. So many, in fact, that Kansas City — and it appears scores of cities across the nation — don’t know what to do with them.
So many are hanging out along Brush Creek that the population density rivals New York City. I’m told it’s much the same at nearby Loose Park, Lakewood Greenway in the Northland and the ballfields at 103rd Street and Interstate 435 out south.
The problem is natural predators. There are none. Think a possum is going to take on one of these things?
It was Canada geese that brought down US Airways Flight 1549 back in 2009, making a hero out of Capt. Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger.
Federal law protects them too, courtesy of something called the Migratory Bird Treaty Act.
Come with me sometime when I ride my bike along Brush Creek. There, geese sometimes are on the left of me and on the right. They hiss. They lunge. They flap their considerable wings.
It’s like that old ’70s tune, “Stuck in the Middle with You.”
“Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.”
“Nesting Canada geese can be aggressive,” the Missouri Conservation Department notes on its website.
The Kansas City Parks and Recreation Department knows all about the geese crisis and the growing population.
In fact, soon the department plans to launch its annual battle royal against the geese through use of border collies.
They don’t attack the geese. They don’t bite. They “simulate predators,” said Terry Rynard, deputy department director.
“That seems to keep them a little bit insecure, and it does move them around.”
For what that’s worth.
The city brainstorms occasionally with the state Conservation Department. It meets with the federal fish and wildlife folks to see “if there’s anything new” to deal with the burgeoning flocks.
Turns out “there really isn’t much,” Rynard said.
The big problem is poop. The department goes to work spraying down sidewalks for hours at a stretch. But then the geese return, and so do the droppings.
“Two or three hours later and you can’t even tell they’ve been there,” Rynard said.
Besides dogs, the Conservation Department says fireworks work. So do lasers. So do overhead grid systems.
Five years ago, I thought the geese were fun, strolling across the street, babies in tow.