I didn’t need a Farmers’ Almanac or Gary Lezak to tell me temperatures would plummet this week in the Kansas City area. Former vice president Al Gore stopped into town Feb. 22 to deliver a speech on climate change, practically guaranteeing record cold temperatures.
At a folk music gathering in Kansas City, Gore cited weather phenomenon that has occurred for centuries to warn banjo players that unless individuals act today to stop climate change, the Dust Bowl is coming back. Of course, this is the same guy who warned a German audience in 2007 that by 2013 there would be no polar ice in the North Pole. Spoiler alert: There’s still ice there.
Time has proven most Gore predictions wrong, starting with what he and other hoaxsters and hucksters used to call “global warming.” Five years ago, Gore and others were warning that global temperatures were going to increase, causing polar ice caps to melt and ocean levels to rise. In the last few years, the warming alarmists have started calling their supposed global crisis, “climate change.”
The change smacks of a public relations stunt because temperatures haven’t cooperated and warmed as Gore and his environmentalist friends originally predicted.
It isn’t for lack of trying on their part. Climate-change alarmists theorize that fossil fuel energy use is creating extreme weather events. Then the environmental activists hop on private planes and jet off to exotic locations, encouraging governments and individuals to give them money to stop this mythical heat wave, or “climate change” from occurring.
To that end, environmentalists have suggested legislation requiring toilets that barely flush, banning light bulbs that work and mandating screwy bulbs that barely cast light, and implementing a carbon tax for wealthy countries to combat climate change in Third World countries.
It’s hysterical, but world leaders actually take Gore and other climate change alarmists seriously.
Gore was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his 2006 mythical film, “An Inconvenient Truth.”
At a U.N. climate change conference in 2009, world leaders debated whether to allow global temperatures to raise 1.5 or 2 degrees Celsius over the next century. The leaders, which included President Barack Obama, actually agreed that it would only take millions of dollars in Western money to stabilize world temperatures.
Fortunately, no one actually signed on to that treaty. Discussions at that meeting ended in an impasse.
However, their thoughtful consideration of the planet’s future encouraged me to conduct my own local climate change summit.
Local Important People (LIPs) converged on a nearby watering hole to determine how we’d like the climate to be moving forward. LIPs in attendance included telecommunications employees, teachers, insurance professionals and an eye doctor.
We considered several proposals, and agreed: We’ll allow snow on Christmas Day. Weekend snowfall will be considered, but we’ll limit snowfall on weekdays to avoid school cancellations.
The summit attendees will tackle maximum summer temperatures at our next meeting. We’re only proposing that local governments give us $1 billion to make this happen.
It’s laughable, of course. We can’t control the weather in Johnson County, and no amount of cash will allow Al Gore to control the climate worldwide. No matter how much hot air Gore spews into the atmosphere, the polar ice caps are stubbornly refusing to melt.
About the only weather climate-change hucksters can guarantee are freezing temperatures whenever Gore commits to a speech on global warming.
“The Gore Effect” sends local thermostats into free fall. In October 2009, Gore gave a speech on manmade global warming at Harvard University. As part of the show, temperatures plummeted.
In November 2006, Gore flew to Australia on the winds of a freak snowstorm. November is late spring in the southern hemisphere — but one Gore speech on warming, and God sends in a winter gale.
In January 2004, New York greeted a Gore warming speech with record lows of 7 degrees.
In 2009, as Gore was warning a U.N. conference on climate change in Copenhagen that the world only had 50 days to halt global warming, Copenhagen settled into a deep freeze. American leaders had to leave the party early in fear that a Washington, D.C., blizzard would keep their planes from landing in Windbag City, also known as the nation’s capital.
Locally, we can thank a Gore warming speech for the polar vortex settling over the Kansas City area.
God is laughing at global climate change alarmists, and we should be laughing, too.