So, I thought I had a pretty good idea for starting this column.
Being Jan. 8 and all, I was going to riff on my penchant for procrastination in being a week late getting around to writing my “end of the old year, look forward to the new one” column.
Then I looked at last year’s new year column, and realized why I thought the procrastination angle was a good way to go.
I wrote the same thing last year. And that column was also a week late.
Old age is hell. If memory isn’t the first thing to go, it’s got to be in the top three.
I used to be known around the paper for my steel-trap memory. Colleagues would marvel at my ability to remember obscure names and facts from stories written long ago.
Not so much anymore.
So with that in mind, or not, I figured it was pretty pointless to pretend I could remember and pass along any lessons learned during the last 12 months.
That leaves me with the option of looking ahead to 2014 and coming up with some resolutions for living a better life or being a better person.
For instance, I could vow to pay no attention to strange denizens of our popular culture such as the performer known by some as “Smiley Virus” or any form of reality television that involves cooking, singing, dancing or families full of bearded duck hunters.
But anything I resolve to do today, no matter how passionately heartfelt, will probably be forgotten by the time I’m done typing it.
That realization gave me what I thought was another good idea: Ask the kids what their resolutions are for the new year.
At least I thought it was a good idea until I started to ask.
“What’s a resolution?” asked the 8-year-old.
Even after I tried to explain it, I’m not sure she totally grasped the concept.
“See my neighbors,” she said, referring to her playmates who are currently out of town for the holidays.
All right then. So I tracked down the 12-year-old who as is typical, was hunkered under a heavy comforter and doing nothing but playing games on her phone.
Do you have any resolutions for the new year?
Her answer, and I quote: “Stay on my phone and do absolutely nothing at all.”
Well, mission accomplished, dear.
It was with trepidation then that I approached the 15-year-old. Of course, it is always with trepidation that I approach the 15-year-old.
Got any resolutions this year?
“Yeah, be even more of a boss-blank blank,” she shot back using a couple of words I had to blank out for the paper.
At least there’s one good thing about having a failing memory. I’m quicker to forget that attitude.
Have a Happy New Year.