Fruit Loopy: Honey Boo Boo’s mama explains sex in season opener (with video)

01/16/2014 10:01 AM

01/16/2014 10:01 AM

We promise that you will never look at a bowl of Fruit Loops the same way again after reading this. Actually, you’ll never think of sex in the same manner, either, after hearing Honey Boo Boo’s mama explain the birds and the bees.

On the season premiere tonight of TLC’s “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,” Mama June Shannon has the “talk” with her older daughters Chubbs, Chickadee and Pumpkin. (Honey Boo Boo herself, too young for such things, is spared.)

First off, mama says, a boy and girl meet, they fall in love, “and the boys try to get in (the) girls’ fruit loops.”

She means lady parts.

Won’t the Kellogg’s folks be happy to hear that.

"Why do you call it a fruit loop, Mom?" a puzzled Chubbs (Jessica) asks.

Silly girl.

"Because guys go loopy over it," says mama.

Oh, but Mama June’s euphemisms for body parts don’t stop there. TLC put together a helpful diagram to show us what Mama June means when she’s talking about the “ting tangs,” “weed whackers” and “vajiggle jaggle.”

(That last one is our favorite.)

Mama June explains that her mother never talked about “sex, birds and the bees, flowers and the trees to me.”

She could have fooled us.

The new season begins with back-to-back episodes beginning at 8 tonight.

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