Local

June 5, 2013

Sucker! New breast milk lollipops don’t really have mama’s milk

A lollipop company in Austin, Texas, has devised a sucker that tastes like mother’s milk – but doesn’t actually contain any. The company had no lack of volunteers to help get the flavor down right.

In the movies when an adult accidentally takes a sip of breast milk, the scene usually ends with a spit take.

Which was close to our reaction when we heard about breast milk lollipops.

It’s a new flavor from

Lollyphile

, a lollipop company in Austin, Texas, which has devised a sucker that tastes like mother’s milk – but doesn’t actually contain any.

The company had no lack of volunteers to help them get the flavor down right. Apparently lots of mommies happily shared their breast milk — express delivery? — with the company’s “flavor specialists” so they could “candify” the flavor. The lollipops are actually vegan.

“I don't know if it's because I'm getting older, but it seems like all of my friends are having babies these days,” Jason Darling, owner of Lollyphile, says in a press release.

“Sure, the kids are all crazy cute, but what slowly dawned on me was that my friends were actually producing milk so delicious it could turn a screaming, furious child into a docile, contented one. I knew I had to capture that flavor.”

Yes, the little suckers are made for the littlest suckers, but you just know a few adults are going to be tempted to pop one of these babies in their mouth.

Says Darling: “It's sad that so few people are able to remember this inherently wonderful flavor. It's a real shame that babies are so selfish, but you'll understand their unwillingness to share once you try one of these.”

The new treats cost more than your garden-variety Tootsie Pops – four cost $10.

As tempting as they sound, we’ve seen the other flavors of lollipops this company makes – bourbon, chocolate bacon, sriracha – and we’ll take a pass.

Make ours a White Russian, please.

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