This news is not fake, but the mud sure is.
Nordstorm is selling a $425 pair of Barracuda straight leg jeans covered with fake mud, or as the high-end retailer calls it, “caked-on muddy coating.”
The jeans “embody rugged, Americana workwear that’s seen some hard-working action.”
These distressed jeans distress us.
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What’s the message here? That if you’re rich enough to afford them there’s no need to soil your “man”-icured hands with real work?
That’s the vibe caught loud and clear by Mike Rowe, the hard-working host of “Dirty Jobs” on Discovery.
Now there’s a man who knows a thing or two about tarring roofs, installing fences, picking coffee beans, shucking oysters, skinning cows — you know, hard work.
Rowe lobbed a big ol’ verbal loogie on these pretentious pants in a lengthy screed posted on his Facebook page Monday.
Oooooh boy, these jeans have him fired up.
“This morning, for your consideration, I offer further proof that our country’s war on work continues to rage in all corners of polite society,” he railed.
“Finally — a pair of jeans that look like they have been worn by someone with a dirty job…made for people who don’t.”
And on he went.
“The Barracuda Straight Leg Jeans aren’t pants,” he seethed. “They’re not even fashion. They’re a costume for wealthy people who see work as ironic – not iconic.”
(Poor Mike. He’s still ticked off that Monopoly replaced the wheelbarrow with a rubber ducky.)
His fans are also having a big ol’ bwahaha at the expense of fancy-pants Nordstrom and its fancy pants.
Commented a farmer’s wife: “I’m married to a farmer who buys his jeans at Costco, wears them until they rip out by real, dirty work and then replaces them at $35 bucks a pair. But I will gladly sell anyone his throw away jeans if you want authentic!”
Commented a hipster-hater: “The war against the working man continues. You know, maybe I’ll start selling my old jeans to the local hipsters. They are usually covered in grease from the motorcycle (that I taught myself to work on), oil from my car that I change, paint (from jobs I hustled up), dirt from my yard (that I work myself), and perhaps the occasional blood spot ... and that’s usually my own too.”
The chuckles continued on the Nordstrom website itself, where people trolled the jeans so hard with fake reviews that it appears they’ve been scrubbed — unlike the jeans.
“These are perhaps the best jeans I’ve ever owned. Perfectly match my stick on calluses,” gushed DirtyJeansGuys.
“These jeans are built Ford-tough for the hipster who is built Prius-weak,” wrote SingleTrackGirl.
The trolling is equally merciless on Twitter, where it is obvious that trolling is hard work unto itself.