03/16/2007 10:07 AM
05/16/2014 4:56 PM
BIO: When I'm not trying to find excitement in relationships, I enjoy running outdoors, listening to live music and reading. I'm a mid-20s professional. I've never been married and not in a terrible rush to do so. I'm single, happy and in love with who I am and what I do. E-MAIL: Kclatina@gmail.com
As Latinos, I'd like to think we have an unfair advantage when dating.
When making our rounds at the local venues, heads turn and stares are focused on our olive skin, dark eyes, and, curvy, J.Lo figures.
We seem exotic, rare, and alluring with our cute accents and Salsa inspired strut.
This happens to be true for Latinas and Latinos, but of the two of them, no one enjoys and thrives on the attention more than the Latino Playboys.
A friend recently told a story that is all too familiar about his friend, a Latino Playboy who draws women in like he's Antonio Banderas searching for his next Melanie Griffin at Kona Grill.
The Kona clientele isn't used to seeing a golden tan in the middle of winter or hearing an accent roll the r's, and hearing rrrrrrr's are enough to imagine what else his tongue can do.
The Playboy had a girlfriend who was away for the summer and made up his mind he could see whomever he wanted while she was gone. They would go out Friday night and women would be attracted to him faster than they could say, "mojito."
"I love your accent, where are you from?"
Believe it or not, it's a pick up line women subconsciously use on the Latino Playboy.
The Playboy answers in a thick accent, "Bolivia."
I asked my co-worker, a Latino wanna-be Playboy, when the last time a woman asked him.
"Just last night," he replied.
He went on to divulge, "Sometimes you lay it on a little thicker depending on the woman."
To make a long story short, the Latino Playboy captured a Kona Bunny but told her when his girlfriend returned; he'd be back with her.
The girlfriend returned thinking her Playboy was well behaved, but the Bunny continued to call him. The girlfriend confronted the Playboy and he confessed but said, "Lo siento, mi amor," and she took him back.
All is good in the telenovela, right?
Now, the Latino Playboy still craves the attention and could be up to his old ways.
Lesson: Bunnies Beware: they're as good as they say they are in bed, their accents are usually real, they can dance well, but if you want to star in a Latino soap opera, I would start practicing rolling your r's now.
Young singles in Kansas City think the dating pool is small, but for Latino singles the choices are even more limited.
The dating scene can't compare to cities like Houston, L.A., and Chicago where the growing Latino population brings hot salsa clubs, industry recording artists to concert, and cultural events like fiestas and parades.
I like Kansas City, and because I have no plans to move to any of the mentioned cities, I've happily adapted to the dating scene. I enjoy dating in our small metropolis. So what if there are not as many Latinos? The dating pool is only as big or small as you make it.
But it doesn't take a genius to realize that people usually make friends with, date, and marry people who look, act, and talk like they do. They have comfortable familiarity with the culture they surround themselves with. Unfortunately, this comfort and familiarity often develop into a separation among cultures.
In dating, the Latino population of singles is very much like the varied segments of other single people in Kansas City. Latino singles are a small group. We know or are familiar with each other, we frequent the same places and we may have dated a person everyone in the group knows. However, there are other differences that most people never see or understand, unless they adjust their level of comfort and talk to people other than the ones they came with.
Try something exciting and explore the diversity in Kansas City-this goes for all cultures and races. If times are as desperate as people say they are, then chasing booty that doesn't look like yours is probably common sense by now.
Most women look forward to the day they no longer have to date.
But after thinking about dating and relationships, is dating really that bad compared to putting your heart at risk in a relationship?
I asked one of my most open and honest girlfriends who dates in a very large city. She was quick to answer that relationships are definitely more difficult than dating. Although, she may have been a little biased having just getting over her latest dating tragedy.
She was dating a man she met in the Hamptons over Memorial Day, and she called on Tuesday to tell me about him. She was excited that he was attractive, smart, sweet, and available. She liked him very much, but had her doubts. It was too early to discuss whoever else you're dating, so she didn't ask if he was dating anybody else. He was spending most of his free time with her, which lead her to believe that he was not.
We'll never know if he was or not, but we do know that after some great dating and a heart put at risk, he told my friend that "issues" have surfaced with his previous girlfriend and he has to give that relationship another chance. I speculated with her what these "issues" were and why they surfaced after a year of their breakup. Did they sleep together and now she's pregnant? Did she make empty promises that she'll never keep and he believes?
There were tons of explanations, but who cares when you're the one on the other end and the best explanation is still the worst because you're hurt.
She said it sounded like he was torn, and maybe he truly was. I tried to tell her that people don't do anything because of you; they do it because of themselves and they are responsible for their actions. It's not because my friend wasn't as pretty, funny, or sweeter, nor did his ex-girlfriend con him into dating again that he ended the dating.
It was because of his "issues" that he wanted to see resolved. Whatever. She still wasn't happy. She didn't like that she risked her heart in a relationship with a person that still had some unpacked baggage.
In relationships you put a put a greater amount of trust, feelings, and time than dating. And never know if they are truly ready to move on or just pausing for a break on their way back to their ex-girlfriend.
Do Kansas City women need to outsource men to find a good date?
Studies show that there are hardly any places to meet singles and very few single people in Kansas City. That makes me wonder. How long will it be until I've dated every available guy?
Are there women in Kansas City that have tapped out all of the men in the dating pool?
Well, one of the last of my best, single girlfriends has already outsourced a man from another city, even though her pool was still full.
This man is someone I know nothing about. But, I trust my girlfriend and her judgment to find someone who will treat her right. She's moving to be with him at that city and is very excited and in love.
After having a terrible breakup with her last boyfriend, the fear of seeing him at our local hangouts is just too ugly to think about. Most people, like me, just stop going there for a while, but maybe my girlfriend could be on to something.
Kansas City is sometimes too small for you and all your exes. There's that awkward hello, followed by the non-introduction of the current dates, completed by the exit with a big sigh of relief.
It makes my girlfriend very happy to know that she will probably not see her ex in her new city. So she gets a clean slate and a man that pleases her.
I asked her, "Is this what dating is coming down to? "
She said, "For me, that's what it means."