DEAR BILLY GRAHAM: My husband travels a lot, and last year he finally admitted he had a girlfriend in another city. At first, he said that if I didn’t like it I could just leave, but now he has moved out and says he’s filing for divorce and then marrying her. Have you ever seen a marriage like ours be saved? I’m an emotional wreck. — R.S.
DEAR R.S.: Over the years, I’ve had numerous people tell me that going through a divorce was worse than the death of a loved one, and I understand why. Divorce is almost always intensely painful for at least one spouse, and those who claim otherwise aren’t facing reality.
Like death, a divorce marks the end of what was once a treasured relationship, leaving in its wake grief, loneliness and even anger. It also causes fears about the future, including financial hardship and new burdens about life’s practical problems.
Divorce can also bring emotional burdens of guilt and insecurity, as a spouse wonders what he or she could have done to prevent it. The Bible tells us that God hates divorce (See Malachi 2:16).
What your husband has done is wrong, both in your eyes and in the eyes of God. Your husband thinks he’s making the right decision, but he isn’t. At the same time, God can intervene and bring him to his senses; occasionally I have seen it happen.
May the Psalmist’s prayer also be yours: “Give me relief from my distress; have mercy on me and hear my prayer” (Psalm 4:1).
No matter what the future holds for you, may you turn to God in a new way and discover his peace and love. God loves you, and Christ wants to help you. If you have never done so, turn to Christ and put your faith and trust in him.
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