Q: My sister refuses to accept responsibility for all the bad decisions she has made, but blames them on everyone else. We’ve tried to help her, but how can we, when she won’t admit she’s ever wrong? — J.M.
A: I’m thankful you’re concerned about your sister. It would be tempting to give up on her and simply walk away, but that would be wrong. The Bible says, “Let us not become weary in doing good” (Galatians 6:9).
It’s admittedly hard to help someone who blames everyone else for their problems and refuses to accept responsibility for what they’ve done. Unfortunately, it’s not a new problem. Do you remember Adam and Eve? They were equally guilty of sinning against God and doing exactly what he had told them not to do. (See Genesis 3:1-13.) But Adam refused to take responsibility for what he’d done, and instead he blamed it all on Eve, and also on God (since God had given Eve to him).
What can you do? First, ask God to give you an opportunity to confront your sister about her need to take responsibility for her decisions. Confront her gently and yet very directly, letting her know how you and others see her. Let her know you care about her and love her very much, and don’t get angry or let it turn into an argument. The Bible says, “Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise” (Proverbs 15:31).
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Most of all, pray for your sister. Only God can change her heart, and he will, as she turns to Christ and seeks his will for her life. God loves her, and he wants to help her confront her problems. Urge her to open her life to Christ, and to turn to him for the wisdom and help she needs.
Write “My Answer,” Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; or visit www.billygraham.org.