Are you honestly not interested in God — or are you fighting against him? Only you can answer this, of course, but I can’t help but feel that God actually is pursuing you, and you know it and are doing everything you can to keep him away. Far from being uninterested in God, you’re very interested in him, because you’re afraid of what will happen if he overtakes you.
But why is God pursuing you? Is it to make you miserable, and bring back whatever bad things you might have experienced as a child? No, not at all. God loves you and wants to make you into the person he created you to be.
Jesus didn’t come to make us miserable; he came to make our lives complete! And they will only be complete when we give up our shallow, self-centered ways and discover the life he has for us. Jesus’ words are true: “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).
But God also is pursuing you because he knows the road you’re presently on will only lead to heartache and bitterness and death. Right now, you may not believe this, but it’s true. Don’t gamble with your soul, but face your need of God and have the courage to give your life to Christ. I’ve never met anyone who was sorry they gave their life to Jesus — and neither will you.