Q: I work with a man who is very intelligent, but no one likes him because he’s so cocky and arrogant and lets us know he’s better than we are. I’d like to help him get over this, but I don’t know how. Any suggestions? — M.T.
A: First of all, I’m thankful for your concern for this person. It would be easy just to write him off or assume he’ll never change, but God can change him, and God may want to use you to make it happen. Ask God to help you to see this person the way he sees him: as someone who needs God’s help.
What can you do? First, you can build a bridge of friendship to him. Don’t be put off by his arrogance or brashness; ask God instead to help you look beyond it and even to ignore it. Thank him for the good things he does, and express interest in his concerns. My wife used to say that honey always catches more bees than vinegar! You even may find that behind his cockiness he is actually a very lonely person.
Then pray for him. His problem isn’t only his personality; ultimately his problem is spiritual. He doesn’t realize that God gave him his abilities, and some day he will stand before God to give an account of the way he used them. Pray that God will show him not only his pride, but also his need for God’s forgiveness and new life in Jesus Christ.
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In addition, ask God to give you an opportunity to share your concern with him — gently but clearly. He may not even realize how others see him, and you can help him face his need to change. The Bible says, “The tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18).
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