If it’s summer, it’s time to head to the cooler and whip up another batch of our frothy but factual facts.
Such as … it would take an estimated 1,120,000 mosquito bites to drain all the blood from an American adult. (We suggest, however, coming indoors after the first 775,000.)
For this second round (the first in March featured snow snakes), we’ve mashed together “Game of Thrones,” the World Cup and a movie fact or two, stirred in King’s Evil, added a pinch of parrotfish poop and one drop of extract of mongoose.
Here it is, just out of our mental blender. Unfurl that little paper umbrella — first employed, by the way, back in 1959 by Honolulu bartender Henry Yee — and enjoy.
See, dear, I HAVE been communicating!
Separate studies by Scottish and Swedish fishing authorities report that herring signal through “bubble release” — that is, flatulence.
Strangely, though, very few Joffreys
In 2012, more babies were named Khaleesi (from the “Game of Thrones” books and series) than Betsy. Khaleesi, however, is not even a name, but a title — that is, wife of the Khal, leader of the barbarian Dothraki hordes.
Still, it’s easier perhaps than Daenerys Targaryen, Stormborn, Mother of Dragons.
But put your money on Elsa, the queen of “Frozen.” A report out of Britain says the name has jumped to No. 88 from 528th there on the most-popular list since the Disney movie came out.
The bullet-proof glass was untouched, fortunately
Before the FIFA World Cup Trophy, just won by Germany, one competed for the Coupe du Monde, later named the Jules Rimet Trophy. Given to Brazil in 1970 for winning its third World Cup, it was displayed in Rio de Janeiro in a cabinet with bullet-proof glass.
Unfortunately, the back of the cabinet was wood. It hasn’t been seen since 1983, probably melted down for its gold.
Can’t tell you how many times I’ve been stricken with this at the pub
Cenosillicaphobia is the fear of an empty glass.
Please tell us you’ll never part with it
U.S. Patent 4,022,227, granted to Frank and Donald Smith of Orlando, Fla., is for a comb-over. “The hair styling requires dividing a person’s hair into three sections and carefully folding one section over another.”
Well, THAT would have been a big bust!
After modeling based on the recently confirmed Higgs boson particle, a long-elusive building block of the cosmos, scientists are puzzled why the universe didn’t collapse microseconds after the Big Bang.
Horseshoehead, sadly, ran in our family
The Bills of Mortality of 17th- and 18th-century London listed causes of death, including Bleach, King’s Evil, Planet-struck, Devoured by Lice (not to be confused with Itch, a totally different way to go), Blasted, Horseshoehead, Lethargy, Cut of the Stone, Rising of the Lights, Stopping of the Stomach, Chin-cough and Teeth. Yes, just “Teeth.”
He could never eat Hare a la Royale again
Napoleon once was chased into his carriage by a horde of rabbits after a hunt when the planted domestic bunnies went awry. They thought he had food.
No one was impressed, though, because Gef was so off key
A symposium this year at the University of London focused on Gef, a mongoose that supposedly showed up on the Isle of Man in the 1930s and began conversing, cursing and sharing gossip with a poor family. Supposedly he could sing along to hit tunes, such as “Carolina Moon.”
You want me to make a tiny WHAT for the queen?
Queen Mary’s Doll House, created by 1,500 artists after World War I and displayed at Windsor Castle, had toilets that flushed and was equipped with tiny sheets of Bromo toilet tissue.
For the Khaleesi who has everything
The Hammacher Schlemmer catalog offers a remote-controlled jet dragon. It has LED eyes and a head that swivels the direction of its turns, and it can be commanded to belch a 3-foot tongue of flame from a concealed propane tank. Just $60,000.
You’re going to put your towel on that?
White sand beaches of the Caribbean are the result of parrotfish eating reefs and excreting the remains.
Although once you figured for Russell Crowe’s ego, you couldn’t squeeze aboard more than a couple of rabbits, a miniature pony and some bugs
According to physics students at the University of Leicester, Noah’s Ark, if built 300 by 50 by 30 cubits (a cubit is the length of one’s forearm and hand, so we’re not dealing with NASA precision here), would have floated even with two of 35,000 species jammed aboard. Impressive, until one considers the remaining 6.4 million land species on Earth?
Five bars with a forest fire!
To help coax your teens into a camping trip, check out the wood-burning cellphone and tablet chargers.
Hey, dude, watch where you’re swinging that thing!
Thor’s hammer, supposedly forged within a dying star, would weigh 4.6 trillion metric tons. A single blow to the ground with it would have the same impact as the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs.
Pinks in spaaaace ...
Astronomers have spied a frozen world 7.5 billion miles from the sun, and it’s pink.
So now whadda we gonna do with all these moose-seeking missiles?
The Alaska Board of Game has barred hunters from using treetop-cruising drones to spot game.
Infinity and beyond makes your hips look bigger
NASA has asked for public voting on the styling of three versions of its new Z-2 spacesuit. The Z-1, seriously, reminded folks of Buzz Lightyear’s outfit, minus the pop-out wings.
They are just sooo sweet!
Tsetse flies are the only insect to nurture their young, one reason the sleeping sickness they carry is hard to defeat.
To reach Darryl Levings, call 816-234-4689 or email to email@example.com.