Q: During my wedding reception a month ago, one of the guests (a friend of my mom’s) poured a glass of water on the DJ’s laptop because he felt the music was too loud and he wanted it shut down. My husband was furious and asked the guest to leave. The incident was blamed on too much alcohol, and it ruined the rest of the evening. Many guests were upset and left.
The man ended up paying the DJ to replace the laptop and sent us a note of apology for his behavior. My question is, must we send a thank-you note to him and his wife for the wedding gift they gave us? What the man did was unforgivable. In many ways he spoiled our day. Mom thinks I should “do the right thing” and thank them for the gift. It wasn’t his wife’s fault, so I am thinking of addressing the note to her only. Is that OK? — Wedding Day Survivor
We think he is leading her on and has no intention of marrying her. We no longer feel comfortable treating him like a member of our family. Are we right? — Looking Out for Our Girl
You appear to be confusing the boyfriend’s unwillingness or inability to make a formal commitment with some kind of rejection, which may not be the case at all. Some couples live together longer than this before heading down the aisle.