Q: Five years into our marriage, my wife and I took a girlfriend, “Sonya.” I fell madly in love with her. Unfortunately, my relationship with my wife cooled because she changed as a person. We ended up divorcing.
I’m still in love with Sonya, but obviously nothing will ever come of it. I’m her confidant and best friend, and she tells me all about her dating life.
I’m having trouble dealing with it, but I don’t think I could handle not seeing her face light up when she speaks about her new girlfriend. My love for Sonya runs to my core — it’s one for the ages. She IS my soul. I don’t want to lose her as my best friend, but I don’t know how to manage the pain of my unrequited love. Please help me. — Demolished in Connecticut
A: Your love for Sonya may run to the core, but it isn’t returned. If she’s in love with another woman, your chances of winding up with her are somewhere between slim and none. That’s why you must now decide if a bleeding heart is a condition you really want to live with. My advice is to be kind to yourself, get off a track that is leading nowhere and look for someone who can love you back.
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Q: My lady friend and I have been living in the same apartment building for a year. It is a retirement community, and we each have our own apartment. (We are both in our 90s.) We are together almost every day. We are Roman Catholic and attend church services at least twice a week.
My problem is, I want her to sleep with me in the same bed, but without having sex. She says sleeping together is wrong, against God’s will and we should not do it. I said as long as we don’t have sex, we are not committing a sin. I talked to a priest about this and he agreed with me. What do you think? — Nonagenarian in Minnesota
A: If your priest blesses it, who am I to argue?
Q: All my life, I’ve put my belt on from left to right. I never really questioned why. Just reckoned it had something to do with me being right-handed.
Recently, an old acquaintance told me I have been doing it wrong. According to him, only women do it from the left. Men belt up right-to-left.
Abby, who’s right? Is there a correct way to wear a belt? Is it a gender thing, a comfort thing or does it even matter? — Not Too Big for My Britches
A: Most men insert their belts from left to right, and most women do it from right to left. However, unless you are a member of the military and must adhere to a strict dress code, you have the right to buckle your belt whichever way you wish.
TO MY MUSLIM READERS: A happy Eid al-Fitr, one and all.
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.