DEAR ABBY: I am 21 and confused. My boyfriend, “Ethan,” and I broke up five months ago, but we recently got back together. The problem is, he hides the fact that we’re together.
I’m not allowed to put anything on Facebook or even comment on or “like” anything on his page. He hardly even talks to me or comes to see me, and when we do talk or see each other, we end up in a fight. We used to be great together, but things are no longer the way they were.
Ethan insists he’s not cheating on me, but it’s hard to believe him, because when we got back together he had been talking to a girl who lives a few miles away from him. I don’t want to end our relationship. Ethan says he loves me and doesn’t want to leave me, but I don’t know what to think anymore. Any advice? — Drifting in Ohio
That he would forbid you to mention that you are back together on Facebook and refuse to permit you to comment on his posts is a huge red flag.
You asked my advice, and here it is: Take a giant step backward and see Ethan for who he is: a person who doesn’t tell the truth and is very likely a cheater. If he were sincere, he’d be telling the world the happy news about your reunion.
It doesn’t have to have a negative effect on your close friendship if you both approach it with the right attitude. College is a time for growth and expansion. When you see each other during vacations from school, you can share that with each other.
Just for laughs
I realized he was developing a wicked sense of humor when he replied, “I’ll see if I can steal you one.” It’s one of my favorite memories. — Oh, the Memories in LaGrange, N.C.