Q: I’m sick when I read about girls in great relationships who feel like they are trapped and they need to live life. They throw away a great relationship with someone who loves them. How is dumping someone who loves you “living”?
I met my husband in high school and we went to parties, nightclubs and traveled — always together. We had each other’s backs and pushed each other to achieve what we wanted. And the best part was, I had my best friend with me during all of my greatest life moments.
Now, after 23 years of marriage, I hear stories from my women friends who dumped their guys in order to live it up and now wish they never had. They ALL said: “Guess what you get with a one-night stand? You get left with disappointment because the guy doesn’t know what you like in bed or gives you an STD.” And while they were “living life,” the boyfriend they loved and wish they had back found someone else.
So, all of you out there who think you’re not living life: It’s not because of the guy you’re with. It’s YOU holding yourself back. Try life with your partner and see what happens before you throw it all away for a one-night stand you’ll most likely regret. — Living Life in Wisconsin
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A: When a young woman writes to me saying she feels trapped and wants to live life, what it indicates to me is that the person either isn’t getting what she needs from her boyfriend or that she’s not mature enough to settle down.
Mature individuals realize that compromise is necessary in successful relationships, but these young women appear to prefer to gamble on all or nothing. I’m sharing your wisdom with them, but I’m not at all certain they will appreciate it.
Q: My wife and I have a good marriage and two well-behaved kids who are good students and active in our community. Our 8-year-old son is very much the rule follower in school and outside activities, but cheats when playing board or card games with me or his sister at home.
When I catch him doing it, I end the game and tell him I won’t play with him if he’s going to cheat. My wife believes the cheating is “just for fun” and that I’m being too hard on him. I say the lesson I’m teaching him is that cheating is wrong.
We agree we are fortunate this happens only at home, but I’m concerned that if it is left unchecked, it will be regarded as permissible and it will escalate to become a problem in other circumstances. What do you think? Should I let up? — Virginia Dad
A: No, stick to your guns. And the next time you catch your son cheating, impress upon him that if others catch him at it, they not only won’t want to play games with him, but also may not want to be friends with him.
TO MY READERS: Happy Fourth of July, everyone. Celebrate safely! Love, Abby
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.