Dear Abby: Family’s little secret is better left unexposed

07/29/2014 7:00 AM

07/29/2014 6:47 PM

DEAR ABBY: My husband’s family are hypocrites! They talk about everyone and their problems, yet when something arises in their family, they want it kept hush-hush.

My sister-in-law, “Gina,” had a baby recently. Her husband, “Allan,” was suspicious because their sexual relations had stopped years ago. He did a store-bought DNA test (twice) and realized the baby was not his. When he confronted Gina, she wouldn’t tell him who the father is, but said she had discussed the pregnancy with the father, and they had decided it would be best for her to raise the baby as her husband’s.

Well, Allan and Gina are now being divorced, and he’s having his name removed from the baby’s birth certificate. Of course, everyone but me wants this to stay quiet. I want the wife of the man to know, and I want the people my in-laws trash all the time to know!

Perhaps this seems mean, but DANG IT, why shouldn’t everyone know that Gina isn’t Miss Perfect? What do you think? — Ticked Off in Louisiana

DEAR TICKED OFF: Please don’t act on impulse. I think that as disgusted as you are with your in-laws, you should keep your mouth shut. If you spread this around, it could become the talk of the community and eventually embarrass the CHILD, who is blameless in all this.

Confused lover

DEAR ABBY: I am a man who has recently fallen in love with a beautiful male-to-female transgender. She considers herself a woman, but on social media lists herself as male.

I am wondering whether I should consider myself gay, bisexual or straight? I always considered myself straight until recently. — No Longer Sure in Texas

DEAR NO LONGER SURE: Because the person presents herself to you as female, then you are a straight man who has fallen in love with a transgender woman. If you were attracted only to members of the same sex, then you would be a homosexual. People who are attracted to both men and women are bisexual.

Cornered commuter

DEAR ABBY: I use public transportation to commute to and from work. I use the time to read and unwind from my day. People often start talking to me, and I find myself trapped for the next 45 minutes listening to an unwelcome monologue about their lives. The fact that I have earplugs in and a book on my lap is no deterrent.

I don’t want to be rude. What’s the best way to tell someone I prefer to chill out and not listen to his/her ramblings? — Bookworm in Calgary, Canada

DEAR BOOKWORM: Smile at the person and say, “I need this time to catch up on my reading.” That’s asserting your right to privacy, and it’s not rude.

Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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