Q: Our granddaughter, “Kim,” is a senior in high school. She wants to study in Europe next year to improve her skills in a second language. Neither she nor her parents can afford the $20,000 or more this will cost. She is also “boy crazy.” Another worry is the threat of terrorism and her safety.
Kim’s grandmother and I see more negatives than positives in this possibility. Please advise us whether we should voice our opinion and what your opinion is. — Holding Back for Now
A: If you had described your granddaughter as emotionally mature and responsible, I would give it my blessing. However, because you didn’t, in my opinion she should continue her schooling closer to home and pursue her interest in language arts when she’s further along in her education and less boy crazy.
Q: My girlfriend has no issue with nudity. She worked herself through her master’s degree in finance as an exotic dancer. She has a phenomenal figure, eats healthy and works out often.
Last year we bought a home in a small residential community, complete with a pool. We installed a fence and spent a lot of money on landscaping to give us privacy from our neighbors.
We live in Florida and spend a lot of time in our pool, especially on weekends. My girlfriend doesn’t like to wear a swimsuit, and I have no issues with it.
At a neighborhood event recently, one of our neighbors politely asked her if she wouldn’t mind covering up when in the pool. She said her kids, and I’m sure her hubby, can see into our yard from their second story. My girlfriend apologized for their inconvenience but told them she wouldn’t be changing her habits in her home to stop another family from gawking.
I see both sides of this. I agree she shouldn’t feel compelled to wear a suit to swim in our own pool (or lounge by it). But I can also see the neighbor’s side. The preteen boys and husband can get an eyeful just about every weekend, and I don’t think a few tan lines are worth a feud with the neighbors. Any suggestions for my dilemma? — Swimsuit Etiquette
A: I, too, can see both sides of this. However, you and your girlfriend have done as much as you can to protect her privacy. You can’t be responsible for your neighbor’s husband’s and children’s voyeurism. I don’t think your girlfriend should feel compelled to change her lifestyle because they act like Peeping Toms.
I do think it would be healthier for all concerned if your neighbor had a talk with her “boys” regarding their family’s standards when it comes to naturism and respecting the privacy of others.
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.